I wish I had more time. That's the one thing that always eludes me in life is time. I know I am not alone in feeling this way either.
Since I quit, I find that time is so much more valuable and should be utilized to the fullest extent. One thing that has become clear is how important this place has become to me, my quit and my life! I am surprisd to find that before I quit, I would 'take my time' and smoke away the minutes of my day without ever giving it a second thought. And now that I've got that time back, it seems to go faster than I can even keep up with. I don't know why when I am at work and the clock doesn't move, and outside of work an hour goes by in 1 second. Like yesterday I woke up at 10am, next time I looked at the clock it was 6:30pm. I don't know how that is possible, how it could go by that fast and me not even notice it.
I feel like this has become so important to me, and I want to be here as much as I can. When I am at work it is virtually impossible to be here at all, let alone on my lunch break, because I need that break now! Work has been a real eye-opener lately because I have discovered that I really don't desire to be working full time anymore. I want to write but I have no idea what to do with my work now. I do know there is so much that I do want to do and it seems like I am never going to fit it all in. And I don't even know what a time frame looks like anymore either. Time was something that moved slowly when I smoked. Now it is too fast for me to even fathom getting what I want to get done in 1 day done!
How did this happen? How did I miss the mark of time? Why is it so elusive? Maybe it is true that all we have is NOW. Right now is the time to do what needs to be done, and the sooner we do it, we'll be really living in the NOW instead of sitting around waiting for the 'now' to take place. The time really is, always now. Time is not 5 minutes from now. Life doesn't start tomorrow. A journey does not begin next week. It is always right now that anything is happenning. So this is a good lesson for me, to see what time actually has to offer. Or rather, what I have to offer myself now that I have all this time back. Perhaps I wasn't enjoying enough of it. We'll see.
So, for anyone who was anticipating another long-winde
