For Penguin:
Warning! This is a LONG drawn out message! Heck, I'm almost embarassed by it - it's approaching Manifesto length! :)
This can maybe apply to anyone else too who is thinking about quitting or who is scared about quitting.
Anyways, Penguin - You've really been on my mind the past couple days. Man, I'm basically a newbie as well. I'm just barely into my 3rd week now.
Regardless, you've really been on my mind. I'm worried for you. I'm hopeful for you. I believe in you. I don't know if you will ever read this or not.
The following is a collection of thoughts about quitting that ran through my mind while I was thinking of you.
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Quitting smoking is scary. It's hard. It's a very, very big step.
What I've found is that the very hardest part of quitting smoking is taking that first step - the actual QUIT. The decision not to buy another pack, to not light up anymore.
It's a great deal like rappelling. That first step just flat out sucks. It's scary. You can't see over the side of the cliff. All you can do is believe in your rope and yourself that you aren't going to fall. It's dark and unknown over the edge. It's warm and firm where you are standing now.
Add in to this already tough situation the fact that the nicotine clouds our vision - it fools us. The reason we don't want to take that first step over the edge is because it's warm and safe where we are - or so we think. Once you are over the edge and make that commitment, you start getting a glimpse of just what it's like up there. It's all a facade. The ground is just a thin crust - propped up with lumber. It's not safe at all - people fall through - people get blown over the edge. We don't focus on it because the nictotine tells us not to.
To me, it seems like there are 2 different "parts" to quitting. There is the mental part and the physical part. The mental part of quitting is the emotional part. The part that has to believe enough in order to take that first step. The part that has to trust enough to be willing to let go.
The physical part is the part that "craves" a smoke. This is the part that tells you 'Hey, you need to be doing something with your hands/mouth/etc!". This