They say it takes a whole year to experience everything you did as a smoker as a non-smoker. Up the street from my home we have a neighborhood park. This park use to be my hiding place when I needed to get away from my ex. I would sit at the park and I would smoke. I would stay for long periods of time giving everyone a chance to cool off and me a chance to reflect and breathe.
I do not know why but for some reason I wound up at this park last night. I sat at the same picnic table that I�ve always sat at, and I thought of all the times I had sat in that very same spot, smoking. I even romanticized it for a second or two about how nice it would be to smoke and just let it all go. Then I realized something.
I found myself reflecting. It�s been over 3 years since I�ve been in this park alone. I remember spending a lot of time there, crying and smoking. Last night, as I sat at that picnic table, I wasn�t crying. I was smiling. I have been working so hard at letting go of the past and tonight as I sat there I realized that I am letting it go. The failures, mistakes and disappointments of my past are haunting me less now. I am learning how to function as a non-smoker instead of hiding behind a cigarette. I don�t have to run to a cigarette every time something happens in my life.
This park served as a place of peace and solitude in my past. Tonight it served the same purpose but to a different person. This person is the new me who is breaking free of an addiction and a past she doesn�t like. I just sat there and smiled. I have come so far. I am happy and I am smoke free. Hang in there folks. It really does get better.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 260
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,208
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $910
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51