Hi, Bambi.
Good for you for not giving in to the junkie thoughts. I understand the "tired of fighting this" feeling; felt it myself a few times - long ago.
Some folks seem to have a bit of depression and tiredness in their quit around the 50 day mark. I think, regardless of the time into the quit, that these problems are brought on by lack of rewards. Rewards are something we often talk about, but it seems few of us really understand their power.
So often we think that quitting is something terrible we have to push ourselves through in order to achieve something that has been called "freedom". When we start thinking this way, we begin to focus on the current misery and less on the future. After all, �freedom� is soooooo far away and perhaps doesn't even exist at all.
Quitting is not some terrible thing we must endure for some indefinite time in order to achieve some vague concept. Quitting is something very good we do for ourselves and the ones we love because we know it is the right thing to do. And like anything worth doing, it is not always easy. When we go to school for a degree, we focus on the ultimate goal of graduation when the individual days of studying, tests, reports, etc. get us down. When we have a career, we focus on the ultimate goal of a particular position and/or salary and/or title when the daily drudgery begins to grind us down. When we build something, we focus on the end result when we bang, cut, or burn a finger. We refocus on the end result instead of the current misery because we know what we suffer today will ultimately be worth it.
When we quit, this refocusing becomes more difficult because of the inherent depression/emotional issues that the nicotine deprivation causes. It is so easy to slip into a black hole of despair on days like you�ve been having. That�s where the rewards come in. They elevate your mood and help your brain undo the damage that nicotine has created. Think physical therapy for the brain.
Go out and do something nice for yourself, Bambi. You have not smoked in 48 days. For 48 days you have denied and controlled one of the strongest, perhaps [u]the[/u] strongest, addictions known. That is an awesome accomplishment and [u]deserves[/u] to be rewarded.
Shevie
[B]My Milage:[