This is my bijillionth time quitting smoking so I've learned a substantial bit about my potholes.
I used to come home from work and crack a beer and start chain smoking and keep the beers flowing because I can't smoke one after another without keepin' the pipes lubed with suds. Many nights I'd rinse and repeat until I was tired enough to sleep.
My last quit, and really all of the substantial ones (more than a day or so), have seemingly been foiled by drink. I don't really have much of a desire to drink without smoking now. Partially because I know it makes me loose and more prone to give in to temptations and I want this quit to stick. I see a lot of recovering alcoholics on this site and I'm curious if you have any insight. Does it seem like my prior behaviors are indicative of alcoholic behavior and is it just a matter of time before I drink one too many and cave to the nicodemon. Or do you think as long as I'm conscientious of my weakness and moderate it, I can still enjoy an occasional drinking night out with the boys.
I've drank a few nights during this quit. The first night was about 2 weeks in and I came dangerously close to caving because of the environment. I was camping with friends. We were having a few cold ones around the campfire and one of the guys had some tobacco and papers. I actually asked for one at one point because I was sick of the internal turmoil. Fortunately, his first response was 'no.' But, then he said,"well, if you really want one..." I didn't and I knew it. I guess I just needed to hear no outside of my own head. But since then, I've been out a couple of times and had no real desire to smoke - maybe there were more distractions.
I'm curious as to the opinions of those who have walked this path before me. I am looking for guidance in my new smoke free life. I want permanence in my decision to quit. If it means I can't drink, then so be it.
Anyway, if you read these ramblings, bless you and best wishes on your journey. I'd appreciate any comments.
stu
