Meg,
Yes, quitting is the easy part... staying quit is much harder. Sure, there are some who can just put them down and walk away, never to think about it again, but they are the minority. For the rest of us, staying quit is much more difficult.
Do you have an attic or garage where you keep a lot of junk? Have you ever thought "Where is that whatchamacalit? I know I have it somewhere... and you have to search and search on your hands and knees through a bunch of cr@p till you find it. And sometimes, it takes a while to find what you're looking for, and you have to look at a bunch of things that are NOT what you're looking for until you find what it is you want. Well, this might be a stretch, but what you are looking for right now is the determination and commitment needed to quit smoking. You HAVE it... it might just be a little misplaced right now. So trying and failing is part of looking through the cr@p to find what you're looking for. And along the way, you often find other things that you forgot you had, or maybe didn't even know you had, that could be of use to you. Have you ever done that? You're looking for one thing and then you find something else that is also valuable to you, but not exactly what you were looking for and you never would have found it if you hadn't gotten down on your knees and searched.
This often happens when quitting... we find out things about ourselves that we didn't even know... some of them are valuable heirlooms and some are cr@p and you have to sort through them to find the things you're looking for. Quitting is good for that. It helps you figure out things about yourself that you may have not known and giving it a sincere shot, but coming short is like finding the cr@p. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of cr@p before you find what you want.
Meg, you HAVE what it takes... you just have to find it within yourself. Sometimes it takes more than one or two or a hundred (in my case :) ) tries before you get it right. That doesn't make you a failure... it makes you human!
I encourage you to do some soul searching... determine out what it was that caused you to light up and figure out ways to avoid this when in similar situations. I'm glad that you're back here and doing this again. You do hav