I am an nicotine addict. I have been for thirty-eight years but did not realize it until recently. From what I have learned recently, the length of addiction is not of any consequence when it comes to ridding one's self from it. There had always been pleasure associated with smoking because of the relaxation I received.
I believed that all the bad stuff said of smoking came from people who were just feeling sorry for themselves and I swore not to succumb to that. I accept full responsibility for my actions.
I watched my my Grandfather die of heart disease, my Grandmother and remaining Grandfather of cancer, then my Father of cancer, and still believed I was 'bulletproof'. A quadruple bypass only stopped my smoking for a few months, until I began to feel 'normal' again.
I have for a long time tried to follow a prescription for life that I read awhile back. I don't know where it came from, but here it is:
Life is not a journey to the grave
with the intension of arriving safetly
in a pretty and well preserved body,
But rather to Skid in Broadside
Thoroughly USED UP, Totally WORN OUT
and loudly proclaiming WOW What a Ride!!
I viewed smoking as a means to this end, enjoying the pleasures of life (including smoking) to its fullest, even if it killed me... after all, In my youth the saying was 'If it feels good, do it!!'
I had a heart stress test this last January. My cardiologist spoke plainly to me, 'There are many who do not get a second chance at life. Some are born with defective hearts that can't keep their bodies alive for a year. You have, for whatever reason, been
granted a second chance... and you're blowing it!" The look he gave me as he delivered those few words changed my outlook on life.
How stupid is it to believe that smoking will do anything for you except hasten your arrival at the grave? Until you recognize and acknowledge the addiction's hold, the truth will remain obscured to you. You will 'rationalize' the negative information about smoking and create even stronger bonds with the addiction. My 'true' self was lost to this addiction sometime around my eighteenth year and I am now faced with the task of finding who I was before my life was altered by this addiction.
For all those who have no