Fish This just went into my peronal all time favorites. I don't want to forget these things because I always want to be proud of the transformation." WOW The journey is the destination! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 695 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $255 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55

I agree with ya Pam...there is a moment when you feel more relief from letting go then fighting that battle of smoking. You just hold your head up high and march down that smokefree road. When the bad time come, down forget the worse times and continue trudging down that smokefree road. Bottem Line! If you can't do that then kill yourself....that's what your doing by smoking anyways! The Chicken [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 38 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 389 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $142.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20

I believe that forgetting is only natural.. You have experienced so much since then.. I think it is great... far away from smoking is the best.. thoughts included.. afterall, it was those thoughts that kept you addicted for so long..the mental aspect. When I was 16 and quit.. I was so far away that I could not even imagine smoking. I remember (being so young) thinking that it was so crazy.. especially to do it so often.. I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN.. ( I do a little but not enough yet). Good for you butterfly... forget and move on.. that is the road to never returning to smoking.. at leat I think so. Christine [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 50 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,271 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $175 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Greetings, Butterfly, we meet again... you've seen me at my low points here (and I've appreciated your insights and support), so you may remember me recounting these feelings... ...The control the weed had on my life, my self-image, my confidence, my self-esteem. I am ashamed of myself for smoking for so long. I worry I might forget about how horribly I hated cigarettes, how I smoked when I was sick, how I smoked to smoke over every emotion I had, how I smoked to avoid feeling, to avoid living. I was afraid to not smoke, afraid of seeing myself for who I am, afraid to discover my path. As I write this, it makes no sense. This is what smoking did to me. I started when I was 11 or 12 and in some ways I feel as though I've regressed back to that age emotionally... ...I remember waking up in the morning feeling like I didn�t brush my teeth the night before because of all the cigarette residue in my mouth, throat, lungs. I�d brush my teeth first thing � it helped me breath � I�d gag and cough up some delicious phlegm � hack and gag � brown chunks in a slimy gooey film that stuck to itself like a single unit of slime (ala GhostBusters). Then I�d go smoke a couple quick smokes just to get the day going. Car rides were measured in cigarettes � 2 for the 18 minute drive to work. The day was divided � hourly at work � when I got home, it wasn�t uncommon to drink 6 or more beers while chainsmoking � I used to call it 'winding down.' Going on a roadtrip where I wasn�t driving and a nonsmoker was � was to be avoided. Otherwise, the whole car ride was a head game � I�d get angry at the person for not letting me smoke � I�d smoke every stop we made, usually 2 cigarettes back to back just to make sure I survived the next leg of the trip. I�d make sure to drink a lot of water and/or coffee so the stops would increase in frequency. Like clockwork, I smoked. Consuming thoughts of when will I smoke next and then when after that� addiction is not pretty. I�ve ruined relationships with people I loved to addiction. Now I�m ruining my relationship with my addiction out of love. I don't want to forget these things because I always want to be proud of the transformation. I don't want to forget where I'd be if I chose to go back. I won't dwell on my neg

I will remember butterfly swimmer and all of her advice and support [IMG]http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f190/cuddlebug230/thth7.gif[/IMG] And of course I will remeber all of the advice and support from all the members at SSC. Cuddles [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 41 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 833 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $147.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3

I will never forget those first 3 days - 3 weeks... I keep the shattered pieces from 2 laptops in my garage as proof of the hold it had over me at the begining - the blinding rage & emotional battles are still fresh in my mind, boy did i fight it. ! talk about battle scars. :8o: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 446 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,152 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2899 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 63 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

I never thought I would say this, but I think I�m starting to forget what it was like in the beginning of my quit. I didn�t think I could EVER forget what it was like to quit because for so long, it consumed my every thought! I bet any newbies reading this are thinking, �that�s impossible!! I�ll NEVER forget this!!!� And to a certain degree, I hope you�re right. But, I think in a way, forgetting is a good thing. I think this is part of the moving on process, but it can also be dangerous because in past quits, one excuse I would give myself to allow myself to go back to smoking was �It wasn�t THAT hard� I can do it again.� I think the past has a way of making bad things seem good and hard times seem easy. I.E. � Smoking being this wonderful thing that we did and quitting being as simple as putting down a cigarette and never thinking about wanting another one again. That is VERY dangerous! One way to come back to reality is to visit this site often. The beauty of this site is that there are always new quitters, so if you read a lot, you can be reminded of exactly how hard it is to quit� without having to do it yourself. But in a way, I think it�s good to forget how bad the beginning days were. It�s a sign of healing and of getting on with life. If we�re not so focused on how bad it was, then we can enjoy life, not always being reminded of the bad. [b]I think the ones who struggle the most are the ones who DON�T forget[/b] because they keep romancing the smoke and won�t allow themselves to heal. Forgetting the bad things is our body�s way of healing. Not allowing yourself to forget keeps you in the beginning stages of your quit permanently! And who wants to stay there?!?!?! So, I decided that I will allow myself to forget certain things, but no matter what I forget, I vow to remember these three things: 1. How much I coughed when I smoked. It�s hard to forget that one because my work kept telling me to go home sick and ordered me to see a doctor every 2 weeks because I was coughing so much. I mean, it was an all day, every day thing! That one�s easy to remember. 2. How much money I am saving by quitting. That one I can�t forget because I�ve got my meter. And, I�ve downloaded a meter on my computer that has my old quit date on i

Great post, Pam. Can't believe I missed it until now. I am definitely forgetting the early weeks of my quit, no doubt about it. I've actually gone way back into my early posts, especially the Demon Busters thread, to refresh my memory. Regardless of the outcome and the reason for it, quitting for me was not the best of memories. It was a hard, rough, struggling, almost painful time that I got through only by the help of the people here and my wonderfully understanding and tolerant wife. And now, like any other bad time, its memory is fading. But I still remember what it was like to smoke: I remember the rattle and gurgle in the upper part of my right lung that happened with each breath, that would never clear out by coughing. I remember breathing shallow to prevent the rattle whenever my wife laid her head on my chest. I remember coughing. I remember never being able to laugh past the first "Ha" without breaking into a hacking/coughing fit. I remember the all-over achy feeling I had 24/7. I remember acid reflux that would wake me up in the night. I remember going through 3 or 4 glasses of drink during supper because I had to wash every bite down or it would get stuck. I remember having to go to the bank every week to get the money to buy a carton because I didn't want it to show up in the checkbook. I remember having to stop what I was doing to go smoke whether I wanted to or not. I remember feeling disgusted upon finding another burn hole in a shirt. I remember the stink of my fingers. I remember the sting of smoke in my eyes. I remember the heat of the cigarette on my fingers and lips. I remember the feeling of smoke in my mouth and going down my throat. I remember the feeling of smoke in the back of my nose as I exhaled. These I will never forget. I run through them daily, in as much detail as I can. The memory of the last four will still cause a reflexive cough. As long as these memories last, I will never want another cigarette. Shevie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 305 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,113 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1159 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 56 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

I will NEVER forget those first 3 days of my quit, they were the worst days of my life and some of the best days because I made so many wonderful friends on here. Good post Pam, you are doing great!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/21/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 336 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,407 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2520 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 43 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14