Mistymoon - I hope you got a well-deserved good night's rest. I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you. Your strength and courage are amazing! Stay strong. sushik [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 55 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,384 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $495 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40

I don't know if this is in the right forum or not. I hope so. I'm not getting any support from the people around me and I don't think that i am going to make it. Not only that, but i'm questioning whether or not I even want to be married anymore. I think this is the worst that i've felt since I began all of this crap, and at this point in time I don't feel like my emotions are irrational. I hope that i read this later and decide that i was being an idiot. I've made a lot of changes in my life lately. I don't know if I can even begin to explain the sheer amount of chaos that i've been living in for the last 2 years. Things have just simply deteriorated really badly. My husband comes from an environment that is cluttered and nasty and where people don't give a crap about one another. he came here and his family started mailing clutter to my house (I'm not exaggerating.. boxes on top of boxes came every single day full of more and more things that i would have never ever had on my own) I finally had to call QVC and tell them that that account could no longer send anything to my house! Then I was pregnant, and diabetic, and in this really high risk pregnancy, and things just really fell apart around here then, and by the time I started making changes a few weeks ago I was just completely immobilised by my feelings of being overwhelmed. I was smoking 3 packs a day, and rarely left my computer chair because this was the one little area that i could maintain some control over. I have 5 children and I was so paralysed by the way my life had become that i couldn't even take care of them. So, I joined a group online that helps you to get a grip on your life and your clutter, and make it happen slowly so that it isn't overwhelming. Just by being busy I cut down smoking by half, and I was going through withdrawals over it. I don't know if it was necessary to tell you all all of that or not, but I wanted to explain a little where I have come from and where I am. I am organising my home, taking care of myself, taking care of my kids, and I quit smoking and this all has happened over the last 3 weeks or so. My husband leaves for work earlier and earlier and gets home later and later. he was scheduled to 7 PM tonight and I expected hm ho

Hey, thank you all for your kind words. I'm having an absolutley misserable day today and really just trying not to speek at all, lest I cause some irreversable damage to my family. I think that i'm kind of in martyr-mode right now, though i am really far too tired to think rationally about anything that i'm feeling. I left this thread up when i went to bed and when I took the kids to school and I think that my husband read it (which was why I left it up - I'll be honest)because he is sudenly very apologetic. I read on another site (Which turned out to have a completely wrong approach to quitting for me) about family being supportive and how they can't be really because they have never been through this before and have no idea what you are going through. Thing is.. My husband asked questions. He thought he knew what it was like because he quit playing video games and was once so hooked on them that he spent days on end playing. I told him.. "Uhhh, KK.. no. I am shivering and sweating at the same time, my head hurts, my hands are shaking, i seem dehydrated all the time no matter how much I drink, my stomach goes from being ravishingly hungry to feeling like i'm going to vomit all of the sudden, my gums are bleading - sometimes really really badly. My finger tips were once nearly numb, and now I can't touch my hot steering wheel anymore. I can smell every single little stink in the house, and with 5 kids - one in diapers, 12 rats, a cat, and a dog.. there's plenty of those. My food tastes horrible, my lips are chapped, and I have this really deap burning sensation in the bottom of my lungs. I'm nervouse, i'm crying, i'm laughing, and i'm sad... and the only thing that will give me any releif is having a cigarette. It's nothing like an effin' video game." This is someone who always gives me the "I'm so proud of you!" whenever I do anything exciting, and all of the sudden he's not only not proud but seems to be trying to make things harder than they ever needed to be, and i'm afraid that i don't understand why. Maybe he just really needs to live in chaos with a person that doesn't take care of herself or of him to be comfortable. I have no idea - just speculating. Maybe i'm too angry. i dunno, but it hurts and i'm going to tell him t

Lady and Princess ... you don't know how nice it is that you all are there. It's so nice to feel completely insane and have people that understand. I had the thought today that by the time I made it a whole month, everyone on this site was gonna hate me! LOL I really hope not! I've made it through the hard part and now I am feeling sleepy and think that i'll be able to sleep tonight. I made dinner in a crock pot tonight... it was roast beef with brocholi? Now, i know that you all must have had the same realisation that I did about the stench of cooking brocholi.. to think i used to like that. EWWWWWWWW!!!!! Sooo.. i packed the children up and we went to Pizza Hut. LOL! When i got home I instructed the older kids on the stuff they neaded to do to get readyf or tomorrow, and I took the baby to my mom's. She watched him and i soaked in her bath tub. I made myself some bath salts with esentail oils in them, and then I wondered why i wasn't using more esential oils around the house to help me relax and stuff. I guess humans tend to get stuck in their own missery, eh? This is the second hot salt bath i've had since I quit, and the last one got me a whole night without waking up in a puddle of sweat and i'm hoping for another of those nights tonight!! Does anyone know... is it the sweating that's making me feel so dehydrated? Because I'll tell ya.. before I quit, i was mostly a soda drinker and didn't like water (my mouth tasted like and ash tray and made the water taste nasty). Now I am loving the water and love how it feels when I swallow that cold drink! It's far far better than soda! So, with as much as i'm drinking, i can't figure out why my lips are chapped and I feel so thirsty all the time like i'm dehydrated. The other theory I had was because i am so obviously etting more circulation and maybe it's taking more fluid to run my body now and flush all this toxic stuff out of there? If it's neither of those, then my diabetes has gone nuts. LOL!! Well, i'm feeling so much better and I just wanted to say thanks again to all of you. i'm going to bed now, and I am feeling like I can sleep, and i've told my husband that he needs to get up with baby BEFORE he wakes me up.. so, here's to hoping for a good night!! Thank you! *hu

Hey everyone. I have to get some work done with my home business... i have several packages that were supposed to go out yesterday but I felt to horrible to care! LOL So, i just wanted to drop in and tell ya that i slept until a quarter to 9 this morning... I woke up and panicked because i thought I missed getting the kids off to school, but hubby did that! My oldest was watching the baby and they were nice and quiet, and I slept like a baby! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 468 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $104 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

God you're making me cry. :( Everything you described all the physical symptoms are withdrawls sweetie, it will pass, dont give up. You have come so far. To me this is like a roller coaster ride my emotions have been up and down - i cried coz my nephew wanted me to take my car separately to the mall coz he was going to see a friend afterward for goodness sake lol, i ended up not going and staying in my room crying!! I had a huge panic attack on my 4th or 5th day, i cant quite remember what day it was. Take some breaths sweetie, its going to be ok. One thing i can say as i take a deep breath of fresh clean air, is i will never ever go back to smoking, I am over the worst of it and i know that as each and every day passes it just going to get better and better. Lol and yes your sense of smell is much more acute i totally agree lol you should see my house at the moment. all the money i havnt spend on cigarettes i have spent on cleaning products and air freshners :) You are going to get through this Mistymoon, it is but a moment in time and it will pass. PrincessC Big hugs for you [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 319 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $132.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15

Hey Sweetie, God i wish i could just give you a big hug right now. Smoking is not going to make any of this any better for you. I know how overwhelming it all must feel for you, and i can see the desperation in your email. Please, please dont throw all the hard work away you have done. I know its hard, no one said it was going to be easy and there are going to be a lot of bumps along the road. We are here to help you get through this addiction just dont smoke mistymoon. I wish there were more i could say to you, i wish i could find the words to comfort you. Big hugs PrincessC [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 306 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $132.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16

Hi MistyMoon Hope you had a good night's sleep. And I hope today will be a better day for you! Sending you hugs and strength! Brenda [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 218 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $68.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

Think of you MistyMoon. Hope this day is much better for you. We are all here for you. Pat yourself on the back because you made it through one HE$$ of a day. I am very PROUD of you. You truly are an amazing woman, my hats off to you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 36 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 367 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $72 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50

Misty Moon Don't give up. Reading your story makes me feel very humble. Remember that when we make any big change in our lives, there will be those around us who are afraid of this. They want you to stay the same. You have to show great strength and determination to stay away from the cigarettes. You manage to keep a house and all your kids so you obviously have these qualities already. Don't be too hard on yourself, even if nobody else notices what you're achieving, you do. I wish you well. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/9/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 16 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 278 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �75.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 2 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14