Wow, Lady - that was just what I needed this morning. I'm having a TOUGH time right now. I managed to get to work but a half hour late - I have a new boss here ( :( ) and she just asked me if I think there'll be a day I ever come into work happy (?!) :( makes me want to cry!!!! I KNOW I've been in good moods in the morning before!!!!!! I know she's had tough times in her past (she's talked about it to me) so how can she not know how rude & arrogant that comment was ?!! she's only known me since I've quit smoking so she doesn't know that I have moments of joy too -- and she certainly doesn't take time to come over and say hello periodically throughout the day to see if my mood has changed! I just feel like I have all I can handle with SHOWING UP, for ANYTHING right now -- I feel so pushed in a corner right now - as I'm beginning to spin - all I want to do is crawl into a hole and forget it all...... :(
Ok, deep breath, self-talk, this is momentary - I have control - if I'm feeling bad, or guilty, or "less than" I have the power to change that. So, I'm going to do my best this morning to breathe through this, and get something accomplished so that I can remove the guilt that I'm holding over my head. The weather is sooo gloomy and overcast right now - when you're struggling emotionally, feeling gloomy and down, it certainly doesn't help when the weather is reflecting the very same thing!!!
(in the time I've written this, panic has gripped me and now I'm crying!! -- let me mention too, that's it's PMS time right now too so EVERYTHING is so much more "intense" - you know?!) ok, can't spin out in negative thoughts....Thanks to you guys for being here, I'm glad we have each other!
luv,
SCBB
