Hello Ireland, While I know you felt today was a set back, I must say, as I read your post tears built in my eyes because I was so proud of you.....wow! that seemed like a pretty scary experience for you and yet, you kept at it, you took some time to pause and try to calm down - you shared with a few key people what you were going through and you walked through the entire situation - I think you should pat yourself on the back for that. When you mentioned how compassionate the woman was about your situation and how she offered you to be able to come directly to her desk without waiting in line, well that's what really brought the tears bubbling forward, I love when strangers surprise us with compassion and understanding....... it just shows that those things that we often find so incredibly fearful, aren't always as bad as we thought.... I bet, with practice, these sort of things will become less and less fearful for you. Panic & anxiety is a part of your life at the moment, and in time, I believe it will become much more manageable and maybe even go away...... who knows... I have some friends that have had to go on disability due to these disorders and I don't see shame in that. It was only one option that was offered to you, there are many more options available as Anne-Marie pointed out. And you've already seen for yourself that you can overcome a situation that created uncomfortable anxiety for you. I think you did wonderfully! None of us this do this "perfectly", we just do our best and try - and you did that, you faced your fear and you completed your task you set out to do - you did not let your anxiety stop you from finishing your task, you didn't let your anxiety&panic send you running. How are you feeling now? Are you calm? do you feel you overcame an obstacle today? keep posting, it's really great to hear from you. luv SCBB

Being not yet employed is a downer, but you didn't go through all that tough work and study to lose hope, even though you faced a rough day. And congratulations for facing your fears, even though a panic attack took place. It seems you have 2 choices now: To get a paper from the doctor and stay home, or to keep meeting with her with the option of meeting with her right away. If waiting in line was the trigger, then the next trip should be easier, yes? The current economy is not uplifting, but there are things that sometimes happen to people in the course of things. A dear friend of mine had his eyes one one goal from the time he was in high school: He wanted to work for a cerain company doing a certain job. After graduation from university, he applied there and was so devastated that they hired other people instead. However, he took a 'lesser job' and five years later, he has transferred and been promoted to a department and job more suitable to his talents. The company he so wanted to work for has just gone into receivership, while my friend just called to say he's been promoted yet again. It's taken him five years to let go of his disappointment, but he's grateful for the path he's followed now. Mind sharing what discipline your Master's is in? Sometimes employment offices offer tips and courses on finding work, how to develop contacts and present your resume (curriculum vitae), etc. Volunteering sometimes goes far and opens doors too. Have you considered doing something like that, something that aligns with your field of interest or something which may produce a nice letter of reference for you? It's wonderful that your girlfriend is interested in learning more about panic attacks. Please be sure to tell her that you too are on a learning curve about this. I'm confident things will improve for you. Everything is workable, one step at a time. We are in the beta testing stage of a new program on CBT and I'm confident you will find it helpful. Just a few more days.. -- Anne-Marie, Site Administrator

Hi SCbeachbum, After recently acheiving my masters I fear job prospects are low... :( I just went down to the social security office fo sign on the dole, and I had a terrrible anxiety attack I'm afraid. Instead of calling and jumping in a taxi and retreating home, I took a diazepam 5mg tablet, but the symptoms would not subside. I retreated to the toilets, where I tried deep breathing exercises and came back in... to try and confront my fears. I felt like I had really bad butterflies in my stomach, my heart was racing at between 110/120 bpm, very frightening again. When I went back into the social security office, (taking advice from this site) I confided in the security man who took pity on me, and gave me a glass of water. I felt justifiably paranoid I'm afraid as everyone was staring at me as I was shaking very profusely, which made me more anxious, so I retreated to the entance, where I sat for almost half an hour trying to catch my breath. When I was out in the hallway at the entrance I wrote a letter explaining that I suffer anxiety attacks which I intended to give to the lady in reception, in the hope that she would pass on my details to the relevant section in the social security agency. After a long long time, the diazepam began to take action. I saw my friend Otto come into the building, who did the same masters as me go in, he must have thought it strange me sitting at the entrance. Anyway, I plucked up the courage and went back into the office. I sat beside him, and confided in him that I get anxiety attacks (very few people from my Masters degree actually know about them) and he was very understanding and rubbed my back, which was reassuring. My number got called, and I approached the desk. The lady behind the desk asked me how I was feeling. I didn't lie, I told her I felt awful as i suffer from anxiety attacks, and produced the letter I had written for the lady to reception. She was unbelievably understanding, and told me in future if I wanted to just go straight up to her desk. She told me I should seriously consider going on sick pay (some form of disability allowance, which would mean I would not have to come into the office anymoer and subject myself to what I had to go through today again. I don't know how I would feel

Ireland, I'm so happy to hear that things went well with your girlfriend!! It seems, showing her the site may have given her a whole new understanding of the challenges you face and allowed her to look at the situation with more compassion and love. How wonderful!! Do keep us posted on how you are!!! and thank you for the kind words :) I'll sleep with a happy heart to know you had such a success!! with luv, SCBB

beachbum, thanx again - had a great day with my girlfriend - the next day I told her about the panic centre and showed her what I and what all of you posted... I think it actually helped things for her. She started to cry which made me feel bad, as I didn't want to upset her, but I think maybe it's made her understand the downsides of the place we are all in at the minute. Glad to hear you're doing fine. Don't you be feeling lonely now after all the nice kind, caring advice you posted for me. Yes, I get all my medication prescribed by my doctor. Hope you're well. Murrough

Hi there, read your last post in the intro forum and thought I'd reply here. Sounds like you have a lot of fearful situations in your life right now that create anxiety and panic for you. I know you are on meds which I'm assuming you are getting from a Physician ... (as to the meds, I don't have any experience with those in particular so am unable to give you any feedback) but, I think meds are very specific to a person and that is to be decided between you and your physician. Have you sought treatment such as therapy or counselling ? I think it would be helpful to look at specific situations that create fear/anxiety for you and slowly ask yourself why -- I do believe we can overcome these disorders, but I also believe it takes time and a lot of work and a lot of willingness and determination. I think Anne-Marie mentioned to you about The Panic Diary (look to the left under "TOOLS" there's a link ) I think that would be an EXTREMELY helpful tool for you. I bet, if you started writing down every situation you felt stopped in from anxiety/panic or fear you'd begin to get some clarity as to why those things feel fearful for you. Just a suggestion, but maybe, write down what it is at any given moment that is creating anxiety for you - take a moment to write it down, take a slow, deep, calming breath, and then try to ask the question of "why" it's creating anxiety/panic for you. You may not be able to answer it but sometimes you will be -- I know, for me, if I'm too far into an anxiety or panic attack I can't answer what I'm afraid of because it feels like "everything" but, if I can catch it at onset or reflect when I've calmed down, I can generally see where it's coming from and try to understand why that created fear for me and how can I recognize it and address it next time BEFORE I'm in a complete attack........... I don't know if this was helpful, but I just wanted to give you some feedback - I'm still learning around all of this too, but I know that it IS very important to not feel alone in this and to continue to communicate with others around what we experience and how we are overcoming it. I know the more I isolate, the worse my situation gets...... Best wishes to you -- I hope that you & your girlfriend have a lovely :) Please fee