Rob and all the rest of you. Thanks for the post, comeraderie and just being there. My daily laugh this morning you on another thread. Thanks. I am what I am and I know that pasting on the smiley face just don't work. Today despite torrential rain is better. AND I am taking it real easy just for today. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 145 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,909 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1087.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25

I keep smelling smokers. Walking by on the street, driving by in their car, all over the place. I can smell them when they get on the street car, when they ride by on their bike, pushing their baby strollers. Am I mad, the smell drives me wild, sends me craving, wanting to be smoking and I feel absolutely crazy! I wish I could switch on the positive thinking. I can't seem to do it. I feel like crawling into my bed and hiding under the covers. My coping mechanisms are there and I am having a hard time sticking to the path. The no smoking path. I said hard time. I am well aware that if I fall off I have no strength to get back on. I am getting weaker and weaker. Sad to see the fluctuations in the board over the past few days. The mental anguish that goes on in crawling through this addiction is stressful and hard and I am shocked and saddened by witnessing the anguish. Hate to do this and I have to tell the truth about what is going on with me. I can not lie and I find all of this incredably difficult. Sorry I feel like a dog and my tail between my legs looking for the deepest cave or hole I can find. Just want to crawl in and get away. Vent, is that all I do here. Yes for right now that is what I am doing. I know that there is great benefit to my health in not smoking and the addict is saying I will feel better if I just cave and have that puff. So far I have been good and I have kept my word to myself. and oh my, but this seems like mental torture. Through another day no smoking for me. Fell dizzy and puffy and wheezy, and I will go to see the doctor again. Is it all phantom stuff? There is nothing wrong with me and I don't feel great, surprising what that junkie will do to get his way. I am more tired than I have been in this quit so far and perhaps I really do need to take a few days off from work and just play, walk, enjoy the lake. Enough. Thanks for reading. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 144 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,898 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1080 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50

It really is one foot in front of the other. I thought in another life that was a dance step not a quit smoking strategy!!!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 144 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,898 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1080 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37

ladybugg Thanks. I so much appreciate the honesty you just expressed. I would be way better if I was making cherry jam right now!!!!!! Luna. Looking forward to the day it seems more okay. Waiting for this to pass, kind of like a stone... One foot in front of the other... Thanks ... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 144 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,899 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1080 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

I just had a root canal, so pardon my lack of sentence structure and proper spelling. I'm a big chicken when it comes to the dentist so they gave me halcyon (sp?). Anyway, The movie to watch is 28 days. It is about drug and alcohol recovery, but as I go through quitting smoking I can relate to most of it. It always lightens my mood and brightens my spirit. I think I'm just going to buy it so I can watch it when I get the blahs. So Riverdale Man, go rent the movie and let me know if it helps :-). [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 157 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,711 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1099 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

First I must say THANK YOU LADYBUG!!! "but I rarely say anything because I got tired of being told it was all in my attitude. Ya know?" YES, I know. These post mean the most to me, they are real. Thanks for posting this Riverdale Man, because it helps those of us who are stuggling know we are not alone. It also really helps to see the timeline of people when they go through these ups and downs. It gives me faith that even if I'm going through a tough time at 144 days, I could be really happy that I've quit and feeling better at 170. If I hadn't seen that others had hard times, I don't think this would have been a useful tool for me. Listening to everyone talk about how great everything is and how postive you should be when you are wallowing in addict hell would just SUCK. So, Riverdale Man, I CAN RELATE, but hang in there man, it will pass. I keep saying the same thing about my growing @ss ;-). I better lose this darn caboose soon, it's not helping with the whole depression thing. Sometimes just admitting that we are miserable helps us confront it and move on. When I have a bad, down period that I just can't shake, I take time off, or ride my bike ALL day, or go buy something I shouldn't. I do think changing the status quo can help with the attitude adjustment. Be nice to yourself. I highly recommend renting the movie 28 days. I totally relate to that movie now even through its about drug and alcohol recovery. Hang in there, I know you'll be back with the positive posts soon, I have faith that you wont smoke :). [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 157 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,711 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1099 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

Hey Phillip, My man... There's so much support here for you - I really have nothing to add other than I'm pulling for you. I, too, grovelled (sp?) to where I am in my quit, so please don't feel alone. The junky is trying to set you up. You know exactly what to do and you are doing it. You've come here for support and you are not going to smoke. One day at a time. It will pass. Believe in yourself, friend. We are doing the best thing we could do for ourselves. It takes time and patience and REWARDS. Take care of yourself - we're all pulling for you - hang on. Life or death, live or die. There is only do, there is no try. Choice puts the free in freedom. No hurries, no worries. Keep on keepin' on and ... Keep fightin' the good fight - fish [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/21/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 203 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,108 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1015 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2

Hey RD, one day at a time. This will pass, just give it some time. You can do this. 144 days is amazing and I cant wait to get there. You are a wonderful person with lots of great advice. Smoking wont help anything, except the nicotine companies. Reach deep down in your soul and pull that positvie thinking to the top. Sometimes it takes some work but you can find it, if you really want to. Here are a few words from Riverdale X man [quote] Each day more and more consciousness, more and more ability and more and more confidence come into my realm of powers. Soon I will be Riverdale X man and will be immensely strong. This I say with a smile and it really does feel this way. Each day right now I deal with a lot of stress and each day I do different and I look at what I am creating for my life and make the choice not to smoke. [/quote] [quote] I have been doing things that give me little me time breaks thru the day that are a pleasure and are not work or related to work. These little me time breaks allow me to get back into the middle rather than being all tipped over into the crave or getting away from the crave. Amazing how trimming a plant or picking through a catalogue pass the time and move my mind from where it was to something different. Very much how posting on this site works or how drinking a glass of water works. [/quote] [quote] What is the biggest benefit you have got from quitting? [/quote] [quote] I know for me the biggest thing is that I can do physical activity. Lots of stuff that I would not have been able to do before February 17th. I can actually keep up with others doing all kinds of physical stuff and not feel winded or down right flaked out. [/quote] Hang in there Riverdale Man [IMG]http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f190/cuddlebug230/th1005-005-92-1028.gif[/IMG] Cuddles It's better to be a non-smoker with an occasional desire for a cig than a smoker with a constant desire to quit...... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/22/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 81 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,626 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $291.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2

Hang in there Phillip. Two steps forward and one step back is a dance step. (when you feel better I'll take ya danceN ;)) Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Look at all of the strong women on this thread that are smoke free. You can do it too! All the best~ N2k [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/20/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 326 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,174 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1630 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 30 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Phillip... time for a break. I watch you struggle through your quit and I sympathize with every post of distress you make. I look at your meter and every time, I nod my head. Yep... I remember that. It is real interesting that our quits seem to be so paralelle. I thought I was alone in the I just am not having a good life syndrome that you are in right now. Everyone else around me always seemed to be moving forward with their smoke free lives while I was still glued to the SSC and envying the smoker that I could smell walking by me. I would smell dad's cigarettes and it would drive me insane! For months I went through this. My life is not full of smokers and anytime I have a situation coming up where I will be around smokers, I always dread it because it made me crave too. Well, recently I was around smokers and for the first time, it didn't bother me. I felt good and I felt free. I had pity for them in place of envy. The thought of having one didn't even cross my mind. The times I found my cravings to be the most were when I was overly tired or stressed. Taking a break is a good idea. Get some rest and relax for a while. You've been going full force and deserve a break. Call it a reward. Grab the dog and get out for a while. It will do you a world of good. You KNOW this will pass. You will eventually reach that point where you don't think of smoking and you are a healty, happy non-smoker. I know that is hard to believe. I had a hard time believing it too but it is true. I promise. Keep fighting. You are going to make it. You have come too far to give it all up now. I can't tell you when but you will get there. Everyday is one step closer. Hang on. Enjoy your day off. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 375 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,518 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1312.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 33 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19