Wow! Here I am on the road less traveled one year later. I don�t know where to begin.
I�ve made it to the top of the mountain. My friends have pushed and pulled and helped me all along the way. What an honor it is to be a part of this quit family. I look back over the last year and I see loving, caring friends all around me. Friends I didn�t have a year ago and friends that I now could not imagine life without. This year has been the most developmental year of my life. I have learned so much about life and about myself. I began this journey with the thought I would probably fail once again. The longest quit I have ever been prior to this is four days and I probably cheated then. My reasons for quitting were several that surrounded different aspects of my life. On June 30, 2005 at 11:39 pm, I smoked my last cigarette.
I use to spend all my spare time sitting on the deck, smoking. Smoking restricted what I did, where, when, and with whom. I never realized until I quit the control that smoking had over me. My world revolved around my next fix. I was an addict and didn�t even know it.
Quitting has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I have cried a river of tears this past year. There are quitters who walk away from smoking, go through a few rough weeks and then move forward with their smoke free lives. Unfortunately, I was not one of these quitters. I fought for my quit with everything I had, and for the first 60 days and thought I would truly go insane. There have been several times when I was ready to throw in the towel.
What kept me from smoking? You! Each time one of you replied to my threads, I read it and it gave me a little more strength. Through the buddy system and the caring posts of the members here, I made it through time after time without smoking one step at a time. Somewhere around six months I began to taste the freedom and to realize that I just might make it in being smoke free. Around day 200 the Junkie within began to talk to me again and it was really tough because I hadn�t heard it for a long time. At 300+ days a lot of stress got the best of me and the Nico demon came knocking on my door once again. But my buddies were still right there with me and together we fought. I don�t know if the cravin