Thanks all.
I read your links RiverDale; yes!! - exactly what I needed to find the value in the reward. It's not the reward itself; it's getting the brain back into balance.
I have invested a good bit of time, energy & bucks into preparation, strategy, goals & comfort this time around. Trying some new things. This week am trying a schedule to get myself down to half a pack before the 24th. I did have one "extra" or "free", unscheduled smoke today, anyway. (matching the same number I smoked yesterday). It's kinda reassuring to know that there's one "extra" I can have at any time - I tend to be triggered by emotional things.
Am getting more anxious about my ability to succeed but on the flip side, I'm already coughing, getting the crap out of my system; my skin feels better - not slimy; and I'm getting all kinds of nasty feedback from my body when I do smoke. Peppermint & cinnamon candies look like they're going to be my substitutes of choice this time around.
I leave for vacation at the beach on the 24th. Will be in the car most of the day, with my MIL - and can't smoke. The house we rented is no-smoking. We're there for the first week, then I have another week of vacation back at home, alone with a lot of projects to keep me busy. Then - and only then - will I come back to deal with the stress at work. I have support; hubby's quitting too and back to seeing my therapist. I take tai chi and can add a day during the week if I need to.
Have noticed that my last cigarette of the day, is shortly after I've arrived home and then, mornings were when I used to give myself free-rein - wouldn't be work, would it????? Ah well - smoking or not, NOTHING about this place is gonna change, they just re-arrange the crap.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/24/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -5
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0