Real Quick! I just wanted to say THank You to all. TimeToDoIT, we will get better. I am at work so this is just a Real Quick post

Just wanted to say, "I made it past the 30 day mark." I should be elated, but I am not. In fact, I am really sad right now. For those who are reading this and don't know me I made it to past 7 months and failed. That, however, is not the reason why I am sad. I still hurt from a "stop the wedding plan" thing that happened well over a year ago. I should let go, but I can't. It's extremely difficult. To top it off, the man keeps floating, drifting, in and out of my life. It's so unhealthy and I Hurt b/c of not being able to let go. Well, I am going to bed. First, on another note, it's much easier too stop when you've stopped previously- but the satisfaction isn't nearly as great and the pride, you felt with the first quit just isn't there. So that in turn makes it easier to start again- which can makes this very cyclical- so if you haven't slipped, I recommend don't go there- it undermines whatever confidence you've built- regardless, of extuenting circumstances. Peace Out! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 31 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,246 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $201.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

When I first read all your responses this morning, I started crying. Lady, I truly don't remember the 30 day blahs. I hit 30 days the week after my ex dumped me- so I was depressed b/c of that. Maybe this is what it felt like for everyone who wasn't dealing with a life crisis situation- I know the term "life crisis" sounds dramatic but it got to the point where I had to take a leave of absence from work b/c I was crying in the office all the time. At least now, I can control the tears. Thank you dear friend. Thanks Butterfly, I won't give up. Eventually, a sense of pride will return. I know just because I have faith and life can be so circular. Livadia, the t-shirt sucks. Doesn't it? Yes, I need to stop looking back. I have been telling that myself for over a year now. August 12 2005 was when we had set the date to make the plans. It's wrong of him to keep coming back and it's worse that I keep accepting him. Then he disappears again and I live through the hurt over again. Yes, this ride isn't worth the t-shirt. One day, I'll report that he tried to come back and I said, "no". Then maybe I'll feel pride again. Princess C, that bear is so sweet. Thank you, things look better just knowing I have friends here that will tolerate my whining. Casey, I will stop by more often. There are people here that I see going through the same things I did at the beginning of the quit. The least I can do is assure them sleep returns to normal and so does energy. Thanks for the bump marie, Lady, no worries. Okay, now that I am no longer an emotional basket case- having written everything out- I need to return to work- but first have to make the weekend promise. It's amazing the things I can do without smoking that I orignally thought I would have to give up- visiting with friends- going to parties- going to clubs (I only visit a club about once a year- but it was still really easy to do and not smoke) Okay for a post titled Real Quick this has become long. It's a crazy world ;p Thanks :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 32 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,264 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $208 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

Awe, you gals. Yes, he is an addiction. I spent the weekend thinking of things that would make it impossible to live with him. Katy and Rusty nailed it. He's a control freak. Before we had the call off the wedding break up, I washed his dishes one day. He told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't like anyone touching his dishes. I thought to myself, but didn't say it outloud, "What's going to happen when we're living together?" While he was on that he asked me not to ever touch his laundry- so there's a huge problem- that means that we couldn't wash clothes together- which means delays in getting things clean. Other things, he's cheap about electricity and water. Again, I thought well that's something we'll work out. Since I figured, I would pay half the bills, I thought I'd reason with him about having the house a normal temperature and the flushing the toilet in the middle of the night thing. There were quite a few things that bothered me, but I really didn't say anything because I thought we would compromise on them. Anyway, I guess I did save myself the hell of divorce OR rather he did- damn jerk! I didn't see him this weekend, but I really wanted to. It is time to give him up..... I was so happy before he came along- really happy- I had just purchased my house. I was making improvements on it. I was dating 3 people. I was hanging with the girls on Friday nights. My son was just starting to do well in school. I was losing a ton of weight. Everything came to a halt when I met him- except for my son's improvement in school- thank goodness!- He told me not to work on my house anymore because we would be selling it. He asked me not to date anyone else. He wanted my Friday nights. I was completely willing to do all those things. He asked me to give up smoking, but never to quit drinking- he meant social drinking- I think- Anyway he's the reason I started on this path and has been said before, maybe he only came into my life so that I could learn to live without smoking. I have no idea why I continued not smoking for 6 months after he left- except I was feeling good- it felt good not to smoke- something I didn't realize. smoggone, that's so nice that you thought I was doing a good job. I am sorry that I fell down- there are so many

I feel your pain Zany! I was doing so good for a few months and I was pretty happy until I realized how fragile a quit is. I'm sorry you're having a rough time getting past what happened. I keep telling myself this, and I need to convince myself, that the best thing is to separate your quit and what happened with in your past. Make your quit more important than anything else in your life, make it trauma proof :) I haven't figured out how to do that, yet...but...in theory, that oughta solve it. Hope your quit sticks this time...and thanks for sharing! I felt better knowing someone else out there realizes how fragile and important the first quits are :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/23/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 151 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,276 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $453 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37

He sounds very domineering to me too, Zany. I don't know of any good books but I have 'mantra' suggestion to think about. [b]Let Go To Grow![/b] [SIZE=1]DON'T WASTE ANYMORE TIME ON MR. SELFISH BECAUSE THERE IS A GUY OUT THERE WAITING TO [U]LOVE AND ADORE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE[/U].[/SIZE] *just like we do* ;) [color=blue][font=Tahoma]All the best~[/color] [img]http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/6922/n3us.gif[/img][size=3][color=blue]2[/color][/size][img]http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/2344/k6ob.gif[/img][/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/20/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 366 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,070 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1830 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 34 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

Congratulations!!!! Those first thirty days are the hardest. I remember when I first read your story I thought "what a woman". You continued your quit after the break up. I also thought he was a jerk to do that to you but in that moment he showed himself for what he really is......A JERK. So in reality the break up is a blessing in disguise. Thank God you found out before you married him. Now all you have to do is lose the poop, you were spared the hell of divorce. He really is just not the right guy for you, OOF, you are way to good for him. Really....Have you considered professional counseling. Someone to talk to about this stuff can be very helpful. Glad you're back. Stay close and post often. Let us know how it's going. Be sure to post before you light up again....it really works. NOPE, Janet [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 392 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,853 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1960 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 51 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

Hi there friend. You remember those 30 day blahs from before right? Remember the pit? You are back. Tell the ex to take a hike and move on with your life. You deserve better. Be proud of your quit. I am proud of you. You are fighting a tough battle. Do not give up on yourself. Life is short and you are making it shorter each time you smoke. Your son loves you and he needs you. Look at all the postives in your life. Sit down and make a list of everything you have to be thankful for. God is good to us. Do not overlook that. Congratulations! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 412 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,259 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1442 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 36 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58

marie, I'm confussed. Why do you say "bump for Lady?" I've notice you do that before and I don't get it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 413 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,267 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1445.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 36 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

Cool Marie... I just didn't understand. :) OOF... all through high school I had the same boyfriend. This boyfriend smoked and that is why I started, because I wanted to "fit in". Needless to say, that boyfriend wasn't any good for me. Things progressed and I moved 1,000 miles away from my family because that is where "he" wanted me. He was not the right guy for me but was all I had ever known and I didn't know how to let go. Each time he would hurt me (emotionally) I would think to myself, "if only I had just let go the last time this happened, I wouldn't be going through this again now". That was so many, many years ago. I still see myself sitting on the floor of our apartment, crying and saying those words out loud to no one. I was 1,000 miles from home, didn't know anyone and felt so alone. Finally, I had had enough of being hurt and put down. I decided to get up off of that floor and stand on my own two feet. I didn't need that jerk. I was worthy of something better. Relationships are not something that I have been very good at. But I do refuse to be the victum of anyone else again as long as I live. Even if it means being alone. Yes it hurts but just like smoking... it isn't good for you. Take deep breaths and one step at a time. Use all those coping skills you developed in your last quit. They are still there so pull them out and put them to use. Quitting is a soul searching, life changing experience... enjoy it. I cannot change the past, but the future waits for me. (words I try to live by these days) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 416 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,339 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1456 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 36 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59