Kate - your English rocks - no no worries on that. People experience many emotions while quitting - I think 20 days is terrific. This is still sort of new for your body though, so you must be really gentle and understanding with yourself. Just worry about taking care of you and find some stress management if you feel that may help. Deep breathing worked for me and so did yoga. Try something new and fun - and that may be just the distraction you need to switch gears a little bit. We're behind ya 100% and know you're a great person. You're just a person who is trying to quit smoking (serious stuff!) Search relaxation on this site or a search engine and you will find an idea that works for you. Hope you feeling better - cheer up Kate, you're doing wonderful! Have you taken a day just to thank yourself and do something special for Kate? If you forget how grand you are, stop back in here and we will be happy to tell you! Enjoy your smoke free day and stay strong, we're here. Hugz CobenFan CobenFan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 171 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,914 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $598.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22

Hi Kate.... :) First of all I'm gonna congratulate you on those 20 days smokefree...because that's an awesome accomplishment. Kate, what's really making you sad/angry here? Is it the nicotine withdrawal? Is it the thyrodid issue? or is it the "habit" that you miss? I'm gonna dismiss the "habit" thing for you...that's not what smoking is about. It's not a habit....seriously hon, it's not.....it's an addiction. So we have two things left! Nicotine withdrawal or thyroid problem. A mixture of the two I think. I understand why you are angry about the medical issue....you didn't ask for it! You didn't want it! But do you have medication to take care of the issues you have with your thyroid? If not....why? That can be adressed. If it's the Nicotine withdrawal....ooooohhh another story! I think I told you this before (so, sorry to repeat). 20 days, whilst brilliant, is not a 'long time' in the grand scheme of things. You are fighting a killer.....a life threatening addiction. It WON'T be over in the "click of your fingers". Like everything good in life....it takes time. I don't know how long you smoked for....but bearing in mind the seriousness of the substance that you smoked...would you seriously think that it would be "over" in a couple of days? The 'pain' of withdrawal can be as much or as little as you want it to be :) You can do one of two things: 1) You can dwell on the "loss" and think about "it" 24/7...or 2) you can rejoice in how far you have come, dismiss that junkie voice in your ear and move on. This is a CHOICE Kate. You CHOSE not to smoke. You, Kate....YOU chose? You are early on in your quit...of course there will be times when it gets tough. But, in those tough times, you square up to that da*n demon and you look him right in the eye and tell him to **** off!!..... because you don't smoke anymore!! It's all about NOT smoking that next cigarette, Hon. That's how simple it can be :) Come on Kate.....I know you're proud of what you have achieved. Continue to dig deep! You didn't get to 20 days for nothing :) Fight through the tough times and keep your head held high. Believe in yourself .........I know you're a winner :) Routing for ya! Rachel x Two years, six months, two weeks, 20 hours, 50 min

Kate, Try reading the following, it may help :) Reward yourself for those 20 days. You deserve it! Afraid to turn into a bear when quitting? Maybe you've quit and it's already happened? Explosive, quick to anger over little things? Unexpected outbursts? You are not alone, but rather one of many. What happens? People in recovery do have ups and downs, and sometimes more downs than ups unless they adopt new ways of coping, none of which happen overnight. We keep saying that quitting is a process. Anger may play an unexpected role for you in this process, and better coping skills need to be developed to deal with this also. When *many* smokers and dippers quit, they go through changes that require some unmasking. Take anger, for instance: As nicotine addicts, we might have swallowed our anger, or lit up/chewed rather than make a scene when something really irked us. It might have been easier and less stressful than engaging in confrontation about some problem. I'm confident that most smokers and dippers who were "put in their place" can remember exhaling the smoke slowly at some time or other to decompress. They puffed or chewed away for dear life rather than say their piece and end up getting fired from a much-needed job, to offer one example, or be in an in-law�s bad books forever, to name another. In such anger, a nicotine fix became the crutch, the comforter and the savior of sorts, and quite a coping mechanism! (Or so we thought anyway.) Get my drift? With the giving up (and loss from our lives) of that lifelong 'all-round friend' the cigarette, we literally go through mourning with all its stages, including the stage of sadness and anger. Quitting is a major loss, both physically and psychologically, and in addiction, a quitter will naturally mourn that loss for a little while, until they freely accept the quit and adopt it, just letting go of smoking or chewing. But besides that mourning, there are also things that can naturally trigger an angry response in a quitter: For instance, typical little things such as finding an empty roll on the toilet paper dispenser, discovering someone's dirty laundry on the floor, coming across dirty dishes in another part of the house, etc., all could NOW send a quitter