Hi Audrey,
For me, "being ready" meant I was tired of making up excuses to smoke and I wanted to quit for ME. The main thing "being ready" meant to me was that I was and am willing to suffer whatever hardships, withdrawals, cravings, etc. so that I can live a longer, healthier life. I was and am still willing to do whatever it takes to stay quit.
When I really decided to quit was when I got so, so tired of making plans or decisions around my smoking. Do you know, I've even turned down invitations to do something fun because I didn't want to offend anyone with my cigarette smoke. I got so sick of being embarrassed, people looking at me when I smoked as if I was stupid or trashy, tired of worrying about bad smoker's breath, tired of bad smelling clothes, tired of worrying about dying young and leaving my family here to grieve, and so sick of burning money up in an ashtray. That list can go on and on. I'd get a sore throat that wouldn't go away for a good while and get scared to death that I'd damaged my throat or vocal cords with cigarette smoke. Cancer runs rampant in my family on my father's side. I'd get a cough that wouldn't go away and, you got it, start worrying about lung cancer. I got so sick of being short winded, coughing during the night or whenever I laughed hard, and it really embarrassed that I was starting to have the "smoker's voice." You know, that voice that sounds like you have gravel stuck in your throat.....really gruff sounding.
In a nutshell, I got sick and tired of the constant, relentless worry and frustration. Smoking was worse than lugging around a ball and chain. It was absolutely exhausting.
As hard as quitting is, and it is real hard, this is nothing compared to all that aggravation, embarrassment, frustration and worry that came from smoking.
I reckon what you have to ask yourself is, "Okay, maybe I wasn't ready to quit for myself when I did, I don't know that for sure. But now that I have quit, do I want to stay quit? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to STAY quit?" I think that's what you have to focus on Audrey. You've already quit and it's a great quit. Question is, do you want to stay a Non Smoker and do whatever it takes?
You really have a great quit going. I sure hope you hang in th