Wow -- so cool to hear from everyone!
Still so much a process, not an accomplishment. And I'm ashamed to say I spent most of my 40th day wondering if I might sneak a smoke somewhere, somehow. So much for enlightenment. The fact is, I'm nothing but a loser. By (um -- gotta be careful here!!) "some power higher than my own," I've been able to steer (or is it stear?) clear of temptation, but I'm so tired of the battle.
It's SO GREAT that out of the blue, these thousand-day people have emerged -- Katy and John W -- we gotta watch them and grab their coattails (if they don't mind being grabbed!!! -- why do I think Phil is suddenly smirking??) --
This is such a serious, life and death business. People who love us are depending on us to quit so that we might be around for them; people who have succeeded on this board are showing up as "The Great Cloud of Witnesses" to tell us we can -- and must -- do it. The thousand-plus day people aren't here for us because they have nothing better to do with their time --- they came back to tell us that it's worth it, and that we must push on. SUCKS!!! I so want to quit the friggin quit. SICK of it!
If we're going to take up this board's bandwidth and breathe its air, then I guess the least we can do is be serious, huh? I'm serious, but so, so tired of fighting.
Those of you into the whole 40-day thing and also into Jewish history may recall that Moses in the wilderness also got sick of the fight. As long as his arms were in the air, the Israelites won the battles; when the arms came down, the Israelites lost. So people stood around Moses holding his arms up during the battles. As long as they were there, Moses won.
We're holding each others' arms up during these battles, are we not?
As long as we're together, holding up one anothers' arms, we can't lose.
So why do I want to scream at you to get the f*(k away from me and let me smoke??? I may want to scream, but I haven't. Instead, I've thanked you from the bottom of my heart for your presence on this board.
Bette Davis, God love her, once said that getting old is not for sissies. How about this: Quitting is not for sissies?
We are strong together -- I am garbage on my own.
Thank you all, and bless you all, from Jerusalem.
peteg