Sleep well Monica. Your not alone. I don't know what tomorrow brings for you or any of us. What ever it is, we will take it minute by minute and hour by hour. Keep posting your thoughts and lean on us, and please keep breathing deep. I'm breathing with you! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 635 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $154 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

Monica, You are truley inspirational, and your strength and resolve will truley make a difference in the lives of the SSC memebers that read this post. I'm so very sorry about your father. I know what your going through, my grandmother (who was very special to me) passed away 8 years ago on December 12th from colon cancer. When you described your father as just a shell of man, I know exactly what your saying. I wish there was more I could do to help you and support you, but I'm here, and I'm praying for you, your father and the rest of your family. Please, please remember, what ever may come in the days and weeks to come, smoking a cigerette will not change life happening or make anything better. Please stay tough, we are right here for you. Keep posting and I'm hugging you tight from Michigan!!! *******HUGS********** [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 27 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 601 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $148.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2

Monica, I'm so very sorry for your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you during this time. Let us know how your doing when you get a minute over the next few days. I'll be thinking of you alot!!!! Kaiti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 29 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 652 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $159.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Just checking in this morning Monica. I'm glad to see your still smoke free and shopping for yourself (my favorite distraction). I found this and wanted to share with you..... [IMG]http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q185/kaitilina/2angels.jpg[/IMG] Your never alone, no matter how crazy your emotions get or how fast they are flying around!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 29 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 647 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $159.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

My thoughts are with you, in sorrow and in helping you stand guard. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 15 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 152 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

Dear Mr. Ed.. Your father would be most proud of you. Very sorry for your loss. And yes, my father is proud of me. Hi Deli.. It is right up there as one of the most difficult times for me. I'm holding on tight with everything I have and also reminding myself that it's out of my control. I have endured so much pain and suffering in my little world here at home - my efforts go towards caring for hubby and also, looking after myself too.. something which seemed to hit me in the early stages of my quit. I've learned a lot since quitting. The only thing more difficult Deli, at this stage of my life is watching my hubby slowly decline with his health. Thank you so much for your supportive words. Hello Lady... Holding on tight and taking it one day at a time with each and every issue coming my way. So true.. I am remembering this as my incentive and I would never wish a close friend of a loved one to be put through this pain. Thank you for your prayers sweetie. I just spoke with my dad.. He's in bed resting. I have more calls to make and return. Monica [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 33 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 672 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $297 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

I found someone to take me to see my father (who is dying from lung cancer and only has days,,maybe weeks left to live). The drive took 1 1/2 hrs., but it seemed like each minute equalled one hour. My anxiety increased minute by minute. My mouth kept getting dry and I kept breaking out into horrible sweats. Throughout the drive I kept getting an occasional crave - took deep breaths in and out and told myself over and over again that having a cigarette is not going to make this car ride, or the visit with dad any easier. The cravings came and went.. constantly willing each one away and reminding myself that I DO NOT want to die like he is right now. Finally arrived at his home and there he was the shell of a man I call dad. His breathing so laboured (on oxygen), grey coloured skin and all of a maybe 92 lbs. He looked up at me and cried.. I went over to him, held him in my arms and cried too. Damn! This will have been the last time I will see my dad alive. Everytime the phone rings I think that 'this is the call'.. I'm keeping myself very busy, going for walks - no matter how bitterly cold it is, clearing my mind of the negatives (even if for short moments at a time). I need all the distractions I can get right now...I keep my list plastered all over the house in various rooms of "things to do". Can't let my guard down because quite frankly under these circumstances it could be so easy to let it down and suddenly just cave in. A body, a mind, can only take so much stress, however, smoking a cigarette will never make a difference in the world. People will still get sick, People will still face financial difficulties, People will still have unstable marriages, People will still have unruly children.. And people will still die. What we have to do as people is deal with each circumstance withOUT a cigarette because we are now NON SMOKER'S! We have to be strong and we have to muster up all the courage we have in the most desperate of times. If it were not for all of the very special people here giving me so much support and encouragement during these trying times I would have surely given in .. given up. Thank you for taking the time to read this.. I needed to release my feelings. I'll be on and off sporatically as I've bee

Oh my.. I'm speechless at all of your overwhelming support. I can feel your bright light shining over me, comforting me in such a special way. Thank you all ever so much .... *tears* I don't know what else to say ... just thank you for everything including your prayers and thoughts. I will surely pass all onto my family. ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 685 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $306 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22

*crying* (((((((((((((((((Phil))))))))))))))) me [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 685 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $306 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

Dear N2K.. I'm so very sorry about your dad. I shake my head re my own dad .. I know I can't/couldn't control what he was doing to himself, but it's so very hard to watch, to hear. I can't wrap my mind around the "why is he doing this to himself".. but as I read through this site and many other's, many will be diagnosed with COPD and continue to smoke, and I realize that he's making his own choice. But it makes it so damn hard for the rest of us. I know how you're feeling right now because I've gone through that stage. My dad is very hard headed and quite stubborn so my many attempts to try to get him to stop or even slow down with his smoking were pointless. I have to put all of that behind me now as it's too late.. I sure hope that it won't be too late for your dad. Maybe things will be different for him.. I certainly hope so. My heart goes out to you.. As for myself I'm now just dealing with talking to my dad several times on the phone (for as long as he can without getting too winded) and making sure that he knows how important he is to me. I've let go of the anger I had some weeks/months ago. He just needs my love right now and that's what I'm giving him. Take good care sweetie.. You've fought a great fight with your quit, stay strong within yourself and my best wishes are with you. Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 685 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $306 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23