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for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Many thank you's for your words.. Phil, crying is my outlet for many emotions that I'm feeling..and well, when I saw your hug around my name I could feel it..as well with reading all the other posts... so then the tears really started pouring out of me. And I find that crying is good because it fends off the craves which hit every once in a while..but when they hit they hit hard. Been keeping very busy, rarely do I sit and think because thinking always leads to negative thoughts. I have to say though that I am very very tired mentally. I want to lay down and sleep but I'm too wired up ! And I have too many things to tend to for hubby. And yes, we're leaving here at 3:30 to go for dinner for my reward of 30 days quit. It'll be good for us both :) (((((((((((((hugs of thanks))))))))))))) Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 690 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $306 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Went out for my reward dinner and it was very nice. When I got in I immediately checked for messages and my dad was rushed to the hospital and is now on a ventilator. No other information is available. For those of you in Canada..and maybe in other countries.. but here, our packs of cig's have a variety of images - one is of a man on a ventilator and I can't get that horrible image of my dad on one. I wish I could be there with him but I don't have a car and finding someone to drive 1 1/2 hrs away is hard to find. Will just keep busy,,probably watch some mindless t.v. or something. I gotta keep doing my breathing exercises.. I'm so very very tired. Ok.. I have to go and set up hubby's dialysis machine and then do the t.v. thing. My mind is swimming and sadness is surrounding my entire being. I just so hope he's not in pain... :( Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 697 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $306 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
They've run all sorts of tests on my dad to see how far the cancer has progressed. We're supposed to get the results later today or early tomorrow. I have to say that this is extremely trying on my nerves and the anxiety is rising by the hour - especially since he was admitted to hospital yesterday. I've been doing everything I can to keep the craves at bay.. I was one of those smoker's that when things got real bad I'd smoke continuously. So this is a huge test ,,again another test.. Major trigger for me and I just keep breathing. Wishing I had someone to breathe with me -- kinda like when a woman is giving birth you know..something/someone to focus on and having a special coach to help me with the breaths. I've gone out for several walks today, made numerous calls to the hospital, calls in from relatives and I'm ready to bust from the stress. Gotta keep my hands busy so it's time to do the dinner dishes and then I think I do a full clean up of the washroom. Maybe after that a long hot shower.... then what? oh geez.... Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 713 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
RM.. You reminded me of a yoga dvd that I have and I'm going to use it tomorrow. It has some very gentle yoga techniques on it and I totally forgot about. Thank you for your kind words hon. Lady.. I thank you so much .. I did the breathing from the screen that you typed in .. followed it breath for breath for 10 mins.. it helped. Plus you know you must have read my mind because I did in fact, after my shower, climb under the covers and cried and cried. If anyone can gain something positive from all of this.. then writing it all out isn't just for me..right Lady? It's weird, I don't see myself as exceptionally strong.. I know I have strength, but not as much as other's are telling me. In fact there are so many times that I feel like a I'm very weak. Thank you Lady.. your post so helped me. Butterfly.. sweet Butterfly.. thank you! Will keep doing the breathing and thank you for your confidence in me. Stormy.. what you are doing is helping me so much. Keep up the prayers.. they are important. Kiwi.. thank you for your concern and your prayers. Now I'm going to bed.. tomorrow is a new day and I so need to close my eyes and not think anymore today. You've all been such a wonderful source of support and compassion. I feel like I'm one of the luckiest people to be surrounded by all of you. Goodnight all.. ((((((((((hugs)))))))) Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 717 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You have all been so instrumental in getting me through this very hard time in my life. Thanks to everyone who helped pull me through on both a mental and emotional level. As I said in another thread it's now time for me to rest.. Take care of yourselves as you've taken care of me so beautifully. Stay strong, stay quit and live and prosper :) Love and hugs always, Monica [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 39 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 789 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $351 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
oh dear..i don't know how that "thumbs up" appeared.. :(
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Just after I posted this morning I got the call. My dad passed away at 11:06 a.m. :( He's now in a better place, and I'll miss him so much. I learned a lot from my dad and there are many great memories for me to hold on to. It's been an extremely hard time for him, for me, for our family and friends. If there's anything that he would say after all was said and done is.. Please don't smoke. Don't put yourself and especially all the people you hold close to your heart through such a horrible experience. As I said in my 1st post on this thread - My dad always 'thought' it was his life and he'll do what he wants with it and it doesn't effect anyone else. He learned at the end that it DID effect everyone. Well I got through one of the toughest times of late and it all happened during a time when I quit smoking. I didn't smoke. I craved like crazy many times and I used all of my coping tools to get through, came here asking for help - as well as releasing my feelings with the hopes that people would come to my aid.. And so many came. You came with love, compassion, support and unconditional giving of yourselves... Once again I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I learned so much about myself.. I am pretty strong and I'm proud that I didn't give in. Now it's time to prepare for the funeral. To all of you who helped me through these trying days ... (((((((((((((hugging all of you)))))))))))) Your friend, Monica xoxoxo [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 36 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 733 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $324 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you ever so much for all of your messages to me. I am so overwhelmed with your outpouring of support and comfort. This is something I will never forget. I'll be home tomorrow and then there will be a small service on Friday. My dad's wishes were that everything be done swiftly. I'm hanging in as best as possible.. went for a walk and then made dinner. My husband held me for a very long time.. He's been unbelievably helpful considering how ill he is.. bless his heart. Now I'm going to take a shower, do my breathing exercises and think of my dad .. the early years when he was healthy and vibrant :) All positive images. Be well all.. keep the quit.. and when you feel that you just can't do it - Remember how very strong you are and dig down as deep as you have to and don't give in. Keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers. Love and hugs, Monica xoxoxo [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 36 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 736 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $324 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kait.. thanks sweetie.. I know that I'm not alone -- just look at all this support, so very wonderful :) ParrotLady.. I so hope that you are doing much better today hon. You have a wonderful 50 days quit and I've read many of your uplifting and positive posts so you are going to be just fine! Thank you for your encouraging and compassionate words.. and also, that angel is darling :) Yes N2K.. talking about it is therapeutic.. I just have so many emotions flying all over the place, not at all feeling grounded ya know? Yes as well..a united front! I can't stay online .. still waiting re the catscan results. I did get out to the stores this a.m., mostly food shop etc..but, I also picked up a few fluff magazines for myself, some wonderful glade scented oil candles (have one burning now) as a little pampering for myself. I will also be laying down for a bit just to rest my mind. Thanks all... you are my guiding and more... Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 36 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 728 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $324 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45
for 18 år siden 0 985 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you all so very much for your support and comfort. Couldn't have gone through all of this without you. Now I'm filled with much anxiety and major craves..posted under cravings... but I know that this will soon pass after tomorrow's funeral. Love and hugs to all of you.. You are all the best! [url=[IMG]http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/Monica58/heart.gif[/IMG]][IMG]http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/Monica58/heart.gif[/IMG][/url] Monica58 [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 37 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 754 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $333 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44

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