I was thinking about something similiar today when my daughters and I were at a restaurant, and I even mentioned it to them.
Usually, whether I'm at a restaurant or somewhere else... I'm waiting to smoke, and that intrudes on my appreciation for what I'm actually doing at the time. The thought is always in the back of my mind, "When is this going to end so I can go lite up?"
So now as I'm feeling that same sense of urgency... there's an additional layer of conflict, because there's no longer a goal. The goal (going for a smoke) has been removed... so why would I be chomping at the bit to get to my car or to leave work or to get out of a restaurant? I DON'T SMOKE!!! :) So if I don't smoke and there's nothing else that's pressing on me... why would I be in such a rush??
It's like an arm that's been amputated. It's no longer there, but you can still feel it. Well... that's what this is like. For years and years having a smoke was my 'goal' many times each day... but now that goal is gone... and I'm still rushing to 'have a smoke'.
Funny. Well, today I became aware of that as I was sitting in that restaurant with my daughters, and I just had to laugh. After that I relaxed a little and just enjoyed their company. The cigarettes are gone, and so is my need to rush off and have one. I'm free to enjoy the moment.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/6/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 121
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $37
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55
