hi Stephanie,
I Totally understand. 20 Years ago I came to the US from London. There I was the "boss" in a company. here I had to take a job to survive. I Got a job as a waitress in a restaurant frequented by Movie Stars. As I was a real outgoing" personality" with a "cute accent" I soon got all the best tables and the best tips. Everyone asked for me. I made more money than I ever had
BUT
The other waitresses, the bartenders, the Cooks , the bus-boys all HATED me. They ice picked my tires, the cooks accidentally brushed against my arms with burning plates.. Looking back I see the jealousy. but then, I started to get panic attacks. I needed the job for the insurance to go and deal with the panic attacks. I needed the money, I was "illegal" in the Country back then-so I had to be carefull. The Attacks became so bad every time I went to work I had a 4 hour non-stop attack. everynight after work I guzzled Vodka Tonic...Everymorning I had a hangover followed by a Panic attack. Every night I worked in full panic situation. This went on for 3 years untill I collapsed. I ended up in Hospital twice---10 days at a time. I quit the job and the panic attacks quit with it. I remember the day i did it.The overwhelming feeling of Calm...I will never forget it..I Hope you do the same--because when a door shuts a window opens and you will move on ok.Please do not let a mere job hold you hostage--Take care
CC
