Shedav,
There are alot of options to weigh, but more importantly if you all do decide to move, how soon would it be?
You have made tremendous progress, and packing up furniture can be done over time, little by little, put into to storage and then shipped on, dont wait till the last minute and do it all at once. Pack up all summer things now, non essentials, bicycles, things in cabinets that are basically stored away.
As for flying, you are scared of the flying itself but having an attack on the plane. I worried over this too once, I worked for a company and our office won a trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, I was happy at first, then I dreaded, ending up going to my doctor telling him I wished we hadnt have won, because I feared having attacks on the plane or in Mexico. He told me to up my benzo couple days before the flight, and on the jets there are phones, I asked him could I call him from Mexico or in the Air if anything happened. He said yes, and that flight attendants are very well supportive if need be. I guess that extra reassurance was all I needed, because it took 3 flights to and from, 6 total to complete the trip and I never had an attack.
We moved 3 years ago and I also had misgivings wondering how or what I could do without my old comfort zone. It worked out fine. You have to think, if he didnt take the new transfer what are the chances that you will be staying at the base you currently are for the rest of your life? A move in a military family is imminent sometime in your life, and Hawaii sounds great.
I guess in your situation, my biggest concern would be how long he would be gone, and handling it alone. But the offside is, it is only for 3 years, and if you do make the decision to move, call ahead to see if support groups are in the area, scout out and make some calls to doctors ahead of time, this will help tremendously in making the adjustment. And currently with your progress, I think you can do it.
But ultimately it is sitting down weighing out the pros and cons to make the decision that you both will be comfortable with.
Trish