Phil is right...Tuesday is the day. For me, Today I'm 9 weeks smoke free, that's 63 days (check out the stats), and I could just cry...but these are tears of gratefulness and happiness. I'm rounding the curve in the journey where I finally feel like I'm a non-smoker...not a smoker trying to quit.
Last night, I was walking out of work, and my boss smokes, he was outside and just lit a cig and I stopped to talk to him...our conversation lasted his entire cig....I didn't hardly even notice (except for the smell) that he was smoking. It wasn't until I got in the car and I realized, I wasn't longing to join him. I had no jealousy of "why can't I smoke"...or, God I wish I could bum a cig from him. These are thoughts that have plagued me off and on the whole 9 weeks.
This morning, as I go through my "new" morning routine. The routine I created for the mornings when I quit smoking, and have been doing for the last 9 weeks, I realized that it was no longer my "new" routine to distract me from smoking...it was actually MY routine as a non-smoker (does this make any sense to anyone). This was the first morning I got ready, was relaxed, happy and felt at peace with myself and didn't feel like something was missing. This has been slowly happening in day to day activities where I don't associate certain things at all anymore with a cig. Hence...It does get better!!!
Newbies, and everyone....I LOVED my cigs. They were who I was...they defined me, they were my LIFE!!! They were there for me when I was happy, sad, bored and stressed. I couldn't do anything without them.
But today, 9 weeks smoke free....they do not control me anymore, I am in control of me. I don't hide behind a smoke screen to deal with life's up and downs...I just deal with life (as it was intended). Today, I am an ex-smoker and crying tears of happiness....I never thought this day would come for me!! I never thought I could feel the freedom from the addiction.
To all that are struggling, feeling weak and thinking you can't do this.....you are sooooooooo wrong....you can do this...have patience with yourself, and please, please, please...take it one day at a time until you can feel the same freedom I am feeling today. For each it will be different, but you have to give yourse