Dear sally, I am sure you have many mixed emotions regarding your daughter....those feelings are hard. I lived with a woman had borderline personality disorder. she had many gifts, she also helped me out at a very tremultuous time in my life. She was also exceedingly irrational at times....and it was a difficult friendship for me to maintain, but I am glad I had the patience. I had this other great friend, he was an old retired New York city fire fighter...and he grow up in Hells Kitchen,(very interesting guy) anyway he said to me after the birth of my son.."kid, just always remember they are never really yours, god only loans them to you for a while to take care of. They have their own life and their own road to walk". I may be totally out of the ball park here....but if you seek avenues that help you make peace and find acceptance with the lack of control in your life, and the emotional roller-coaster, you must be experiencing, you may find it is easier not to smoke. Remember you get to decide. and don't forget to love yourself...surround yourself with people that make you feel warm and fuzzy. Be nice to yourself. Don't worry about telling someone "no". Allow yourself to go nuts occasionally, don't shy away from all your feelings..... :) (I hope that helps) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 105 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $20.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 43

Sally, Go to your Doctor and get the Rx Chantix... Best thing I can recommend for you to give up the smokes. this rx will help with stress and withdrawal associated with nicotine cessation. You won't want cigarettes. Other products can not boast this. I've tried them all. This one works (I quit cold turkey for 10 years,so I know about trying to give it up. I started back like a fool in my early 40's because of a divorce and menopause. If I had known then...what I know now...I would now be a 25 year Non-Smoker. Knowledge is power.) There is about 10 or 12 of us on this site who have used this very sucessfully. You can find information about this on the web. auntdeb ps. May God bring peace to you and your family, [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 41 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,092 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $194.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16

Hi sally, Iam sorry to hear about your loved one. You must realize that stress is apart of our lives and there is no way around it. Its part of our mental being. Stress has a purpose just like walking, talking and all that goes with our body. The level of stress is what we need to control and to conquer. We think that smoking releives our stress when in fact, it really does not. Its the urge that you are really experiencing and you think that if you satisfy the urge, the stress will go away. It will not. Dont forget about the urge that you controled for so long. You need to go back and re-enfource your quit. Dont forget that the urge never really leaves us, it is there to stay because you put it there when you first started to smoke. Its not the cigaretts Sally, its the addiction and the urge. Go back and make changes to your life. Reduce the stress and fight the urge like you did b4. Stress can be managed. I had to seek stress managment from a friend I work with. It helped. I also have to reailze that no matter what happens in life, you cant stop it. You have to deal with it and look at it as just one more part to life. I tell myself that I cant change what happend, but I refuse to let my issues interfer with my dicisions. Getting back to the urge. The urge is what you should deal with. It will make you feel good if you drag off that cig, but you really know that if you continue, it will only harm you in the long run. Go back to where your quit started and continue to fight the urge. But dont forget that the urge will not leave you, you must retrain your brain and understand that the urge is not your friend at all. It wants to control you and it has that right because you put it there and only you can make it go away, stress or no stress. But its ok to seek help with the stress, the stress is a trigger point. Remove all trigger points and continue to fight the urge. Jaset [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 86 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,736 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $473 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

My Dear Healthy Sally -- God love you! God love your daughter and your family!! Let me say first that I often get deleted by our good moderators for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people.. I mean well but am often clueless... That having been said, I have two responses to you. First I wonder if this is really a good time for you to make such a radical change in your life and whether stability might be a better gift to offer your daughter... But another part of me acknowledges that as your daughter is undergoing treatment for what ails her, your own treatment for what ails you might be a sign of solidarity? You are asking her not to hurt herself any more; ought you not to commit to the same thing for yourself? Me, I'm not about "do this" or "don't do that." There's more than enough of that here. I know you will do what you decide is best for your daughter, your family, and yourself. I pledge my presence and support for every step of this journey of yours. peteg [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/30/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 104 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,246 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $572 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41

Healthy3, I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you are faced with. My heart goes out to you. The answer isn't an easy one; you have to learn to develop new ways to cope. This can include talking to a therapist, keeping a journal, physical activity to help relieve tension, deep breathing and other relaxation techniques. My suggestion to you would be to start employing these new coping strategies now in times of stress before reaching for that cigarette. Remember, only practice makes perfect. Danielle ______________________ The SSC Support Team

thank you friends for your well thought out advice..its always good to hear others' opinons..I will be here always..its the only way i know to successfully quit smoking.. i thank you [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

Many of you know my name. You have been a witness to my past struggles and have provided much needed help. I have appreciated all of your insight and am here for more. My daughter(aged 21) has been in a burn unit in Portland for the past 5 weeks, having set herself on fire. As we have recently learned, she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. Her burns will heal, and now we will undertake the long process of helping her cope will her mental illness. The question I pose now is this. How does one set aside cigarettes during a period of unimaginable stess? I understand that the mental illness, the stress, remain whether I smoke or not. How can I get through the next year or so without smoking? I struggle with this on a daily basis and am asking for help. Thanks for any advice. You are my friends and I value your opinions. thanks, sally [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0