Didn't quite finish. It's okay with me that I have to go cold turkey. Mind you, I'm not complaining about that. I hear it's a little harder but faster. I like the faster part of that sentence. Maybe some of you that have gone "cold turkey" can fill me in on the facts of going cold turkey just a little bit. I'd appreciate it. Folks, I've gone through all of the motions, physically that is, preparing to go on with today's quit. But I don't feel mentally prepared. Not at all. I have more tools lined up to deal with triggers and cravings now than I did on Valentine's Day but, I was more sure of myself on the 14th than I am now. HealerWithin, you asked me a question: Is your desire to quit stronger than your desire to smoke? The only answer I have is: I want to continue on with today's quit in the worst way but, I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. I've let my failure from my quit on Valentine's Day really set me back as far as my mental preparation goes. I've lined up more tools now than I did on the 14th of this month but, due to my failure, I haven't dusted myself off from that failure. I've gone through the motions of picking myself up and preparing but, not mentally. I guess I'm dwelling on that failure so that's keeping me from dusting myself off and preparing mentally. I think the answer is: I want this quit so much but I expect to fail and I don't want to feel defeated again. That's not the answer I'd like to give to your question but, I have to be honest. Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 60 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2.79 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

I keep checking in and reading your posts to build me up for another quit. Folks, I haven't smoked more today. I smoked those three during the night last night but no more than that. There are no more cigarettes here in my house or my car. I didn't even know I had the three stray cigarettes I found in my messy desk drawer last night. Today, I've dusted, vacuumed, mopped, washed all throw pillows and throw rugs and made the house smell really nice and clean.....AGAIN!!! I have really nice smelling hazelnut candles burning and I don't want to UNDO that nice smell I have going in here right now. This one is weird but hey, it works for me.....Every time a craving hits, I go and brush my teeth and gargle so that I have a beeeeautiful smile and fresh breath and I don't want to mess that up with a smoke. ha ha ha I know, that one is weird but I'm a little like "Monk." If there's a crooked picture, I have to straighten it. If there's a crumb on the floor, I have to sweep. I can't stand for one piece of junk mail to be sitting out on my coffee table. I admit it, I'm a little on the obsessive compulsive side.....just a tad but not too much to hurt anybody. ha ha So, as long as I'm keeping fresh breath and a clean house, I can't stand for anything to mess that up. It goes against my very strange nature. I know ya'll are thinking, "We have a weird one on our hands here." ha ha ha I admit, those things do sound strange but, I can't get rid of every trigger in my house so I have to make each one different than it was before by placing flower arrangments that I've made on pieces of furniture, cleaning, and using candles and pictures of loved ones. I do want to move my computer but my desk is so heavy that I'm going to have my husband do the heavy work. He's unable to break down or set up a computer so that's my job but the heavy moving, that's up to him. I'll be running in one spot if I were to try to shove this desk. I have to admit, I do NOT feel as mentally prepared for this quit as I did on my Valentines Day quit and look what happened there. That really bothers me. I know it's because I feel defeated and so disappointed in myself and I'm afraid that it'll happen again. That leads me to asking myself, "Okay Tutti, just how committed

I'm in a very different mood today. Yesterday, I was so nervous because I didn't feel at all mentally prepared for this quit. I couldn't even answer the one question: Is your desire to quit stronger than your desire to smoke? I couldn't give a clear answer to that one. Not one that made a whole lot of sense to me anyway. Today, things are so different. My mood is so quiet, rather withdrawn. I'm not feeling sad at all. Actually, I feel pretty content but so quiet. It feels like I'm taking the day off and just spending some quiet time with myself. Sort of like I've gone a little numb so I can drink gallons of water, rest, have my quiet talks with God, and heal. So far, I've only had very mild cravings today. And even with those cravings, I drink so much water. I keep filling up a one liter bottle. I've drank more water than I ever have in my entire life!! Strange this is, I don't want my coffee. Coffee and a cigarette went together like biscuits and gravy.....One just isn't the same without the other. I have had very little coffee since the 14th and none at all today. I just don't care for any. Thank you all for writing to me and encouraging me. It really means a lot. Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 92 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2.79 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

Tutti I too am what I call an emotive smoker. Everybody is to one degree or another. If you decide to go forward with your quit, I promise you that you will find out sooner or later, that you never needed to smoke in the first place, you do not need to smoke now, and you will not need to smoke in the future. For me there are two parts to our addiction. First there is the physical. That can be dealt with in 72 hours, but what remains are the lies that nicotine has told us and we have accepted. This is the essence of the spiritual side of our journey. We must disconnect from the awful reality that our addiction has fooled us into believing. This will take work and effort as you must in effect rewire your brain and your soul to see the truth. You can't see it from where you are because you are living in a nicotine dream...Smoking is a child of our own perceptions...It is a prison in which we are both the jailer and the prisonger...If you really want to see the truth of this horrible addiction, tell the jailer to give you the key and you will be set free I promise you that if you have an ounce of faith it will soon grow into a pound of hope and then to a ton of joy...Once you rise out of that nicotine dream and walk down the road a ways, I promise you that you will eventually reach the sweetest place a human can go...home, because you will have come to know who you really are and always have been. Take heart and look deeply into why you smoke...it is difficult and a bit painful, but I know that you can do it...I hope I will see you along the road... nonic

Tutti, So sorry about your loss. auntdeb [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 48 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,435 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $228 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36

Tutti (and MomMom): I have to agree with Rusty. Keeping ANY cigarettes around is just asking for trouble! Quitting is tough enough without deliberately tempting yourself. As Rusty says, there is no "emergency" situation that a cigarette will help -- NONE! You have either made the DECISION to quit or you haven't. A slip is just a slip IF you get right back to your quit. Otherwise, trust me, you'll find yourself just looking for reasons to have another slip. Don't torture yourself like that -- you deserve much better. My best advice to you is to check your level of commitment and determination. Then watch your self-talk. YOU talked yourself into lighting those cigarettes. YOU need to get back to talking yourself into being the nonsmoker you want to be. When you "slipped" and smoked those cigarettes, did they solve anything? Was it just the answer to all your dreams? Of course not -- it resulted in ruining a great quit, disgust with yourself, and a whole new slew of problems! THERE IS NOTHING POSITIVE ABOUT SMOKING -- Smoking doesn't SOLVE problems -- it CREATES problems! NOPE -- Not One Puff Ever! You CAN do this -- but you must want to more than you want to smoke. Enough of my ranting -- pick yourself up and get back to your quit. We'll help -- you know that. Keep the faith [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 133 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,343 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1064 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

I absolutely agree with Rusty>> There is no 'emergency' situation where a cigarette will help. Speaking from pure experience, a cigarette doesn't make the emergency go away, it doesn't make the emergency better, it doesn't do anything other than lead to one more cigarette and so on and so on. I completely understand what you are saying about not being able to use NRT's Tutti due to health reasons, but as it was said here, many do quit cold turkey and even with NRT's it's still a very hard damned battle all the way. So start your quit NOW, no need to wait until tomorrow hon. We're all here for you and when you get restless or you cannot sleep or you have several triggers all about.. you might have a list of distractions that you can go to at the ready and pick one and just do it! Sending you tons of support and encouraging ((((((((hugs)))))))) Monica58 [IMG]http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/Monica58/Angel.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 37 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 753 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $333 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31

tutti sorry abo0ut your setback you said you were bored, have you distractions you could use?, that is t he key maybe you coulod move all the business stuff into one room, throw the windows open and breathe fresh air, no smoking allowed? don't beat yourself up but learn from th is and get back on track you can do this lynnexx [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/24/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 117 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,769 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �468 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

TUTTI DONT GO COLD TURKEY Take 4 willpower tablets a day and a spoonful of smiling medicine. It helps! This time for me mate please! Phil x [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 195 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,098 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1023.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59

Hi Tutti, Those nasty triggers. Is it possible to have your husband move the computer to a non tigger room and the phone also. If not, rearrage the furniture in your office. Get up when you can and go outside for some fresh air and sunshine. Can you use the patch rather than cold turkey? By the way don't feel down, this is a trying thing. Don't get depressed you could get mad at nicodemon. Take some deep breaths now and mentally prepared for this.