DPW Shortcuts are great! Sometimes when I am obsessing over being anxious about driving....rather than constantly battling NOT to obsess, I give myself permission to obsess....until I am saturated .....once I have reached saturation, it seems to subside some. Until you need to drive, try to keep busy with other things. When the time is finally there, don't allow yourself to find an excuse to back out...How far do you have to drive? Once you get home, have some reward waiting...anything...a bubble bath, doing nothing, a new movie to watch...anything that pleases you...hope this helps.... AND don't forget to acknowledge your victory, no matter HOW difficult it might be ;)

DPW, Is there a friend or neighbor that might ride with you? If not just give yourself plenty of time to get there. Have a magazine handy to look at while you are at the stop lights. I do this all the time. Keeps my mind occupied while I'm waiting for that light to turn green. I too have a serious problem with driving. My fear is being trapped in a traffic jam and sometimes it carries over to just sitting at stop lights. The magazine gives me something to do while I sit there.

Dear DPW, Sorry to hear you are feeling this way right now. With regards to the driving, making up alternate routes is ok, just as long as you still go out and drive. Just keep "exposing" yourself to the fears in any way you can. Also, keep posting on the support group, we'll help you through this. Susanne

Hi everyone. It's been several weeks since i checked the site. Well i have been doing the panic dance for a long time mostly i have been able to deal with most situations because of my husband (safe person)and with self talk. I am currently on an extended leave of absence from work to try to control my panic. Tonight i have to go for my yearly checkup with OB. I have to drive myself because my husband has school. I have been talking self talk all week but today i am really on edge with the feeling of doom and i just can't focus on self talk. Just waiting to get behind the wheel and start to drive is freaking me out. My biggest problem right now is driving. I've been going over the route in my head trying to think of shortcuts that won't have to much traffic. My thoughts are all over the place. Anyone have any tips?

Sarlyn my heart goes out to you. You have had a horrible time and I hope you continue with school. Once you get thru that you can do anything. You obviously have a huge heart....What you did for your brother is amazing. Keep coming back here and talking to us. Just about everyone in here is supportive and non-judgemental and having this outlet can be a big relief to you. I know it has been for me.

I am so sorry about all you have had to endure in your short life! It's horrible what some people will do to their children, no child should be treated like you have. Jumping around from home to home and place to place. Getting attached to people and having them go in and out of your life. You are so much stronger than you think you are. Most adults couldn't handle half of what you have been through! None of these things have been your fault, it's the fault of the adults in your life. That makes me so mad! No wonder you cry when your boyfriend leaves, no one seems to stick around in your life. You need to find an adult that you trust, a stable one, one you can count on to be around in the future. Someone who can help and guide you. I can understand your reluctance to confide in your step-mom. You probably feel like if you are too much trouble she won't want you either. You have so much guts. You will be one who makes it, you have already shown tremendous strength in making it this far. You show much more maturity already than most of the adults you mentioned. My hat is off to you, and I'm sending big big hugs, and many prayers! We all care about you, even though we haven't met. You can count on all of us to listen, so post here anytime. Nothing you have said or could say can change that. You have been deeply hurt by so many people in your short life, but now it's time for you to find out how much people can care about each other, and how many good people there are in this world. Oh how I wish that someone would have snatched you away from all of that when you were little and taken you and loved you and treated you like a child should be treated. I can't believe how the adults in your life have all been. Big hugs and prayers are sent to you!

Saralyn, I don't know what to say except "I'm sorry" - no one should ever have to go through what you've gone through! :( Your post made me cry and count my blessings. I think the only advise I can offer is for you to find a good therapist that can help you put the past behind you and move forward. Take care and my prayers are with you!! Keep posting to let us know how you are doing! :)

Saralyn, I tip my hat to you! Indeed you are a Cinderella and I do agree that all this time and effort that you have done for others will indeed pay off. My advice to you is to stay "you". Finish your schooling and start a life of your own. Always remember to take care of yourself. You can be kind and supportive to others but you are the one who is going to make the positive changes in your life. You know who you are and I can see that you want to have a better life. You can do it! Listen to your heart and take charge of the world :). Take care and thank you for sharing your story with us today. Take care, Melanie

Well, I don't really know how to start this. Like I said on the post, thank you all for reaching out to me so much even though you don't even know me. Well, that will change after this e-mail. I thought that in order for you to get a better understanding that you would have to know the whole story, right? Well, that's how it usually goes. I guess it's worth a shot. I'd do just about anything at this point to get some help. Well, here it goes. (Sigh) ... I was born in Florida addicted to drugs because my mother did drugs (crack, weed and I'm not sure what else) the whole time she was pregnant with me. Her and my Father split up before I can even remember, then my mother and I moved to California. He (my father) was in jail before I turned 1. I lived with my mom till I was 3, then she got busted for drugs and put in jail so I lived with my grandmother here in California till I was 4 and a half. My idle (my Uncle) died in an accidental gang shooting and I was devistated. But in those few years my father got out of jail, moved to Alaska and got marride again to a woman named Sherri. I moved in with them just before my 5th birthday. After about a year we moved back to Florida to be with the rest of his family. In that time I grew very close to Sherri since I basically no longer had a mother. Once I was 7 she divorced my dad and moved to Michigan. I haven't seen her since. After she left, my dad lost a lot of work and we lived in different trailer homes almost monthly. He became very abusive and finally his sister-in-law reported in to childrens servises when I was 9. By that time My mother was out of jail and still living in California in East LA. She got custody of me, and I moved back with her. At that time I found out that my mother had another daughter 4 years before me (my mother was 14 when she gave birth to Rebecca, my older half sister whom I've never met), and the father of this child was her step father. I wasn't very close with her because I also found out that she was bisexual and my father was VERY religouse and pretty much had brainwashed me. The first 2 years weren't bad. When I first got there she bought me a golden retriever and I named her Taffy. She became my best friend. By the time I was 11 my mom was dating around again and met a guy on her so

Wow, I never thought that this many people who don't even know me would care enough to reach out to me like this. First of all, I wanted to thank all of you. I'm not really used to this. At first I thought this was going to be wierd, but it's not! I feel like I can actually be myself here and not have to fake a smile every day. I do have some body I could turn to whenever I need to...but I'm sure I'll get the same response from everyone. It's my boyfriend. We've been going out now for about a year and a half. He doesn't know everything that I'm feeling because he has enough in his life going on as it is. I don't want to make it more difficult for him. But, he never fails to know when something isn't right with me, and I can't ever lie to him. It just won't happen. But lately it seems like something isn't right with me every day. For example, when he leaves my house, I have to force myself into not crying in front of him. But as soon as he's gone I go in my room and cry for hours. Then I see him the next day and the same thing happens when he leaves. That's just one thing. He doesn't know about that. He says he wants to marry me. I love him too, but I don't know. I've been hurt so many times in the past. Then he gets mad when I doubt his sincerity. We're both young though. I'm 15 and he's 19. How does he know he wants to spend the rest of his life with me? But anyway, that's not the point. I just try to keep busy to stop myself from thinking so much, but sometimes that backfires on me because I get stressed and don't know how to handle everything at the same time that I get myself into. It's mostly all school activities or volunteer work, but still. You know what I'm getting at, right? Well, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I know exactly what I need, and other times I feel like I don't know anything at all. Is that normal?