kyle, I know how you feel. Panic and anxiety makes a person feel so strange. First of all you can't make yourself go crazy by thinking about it. If that could happen I would have been crazy a long time ago. Someone on here once said if you are asking yourself if your crazy then your are obviously not crazy. Crazy people don't know they are crazy they think they are normal and the rest of us are the ones who realize they are crazy. When I read that post it really made me stop and put things into perspective which is what we have to do with this disorder. It takes us over and we can't think rationally anymore, just like when you get the thoughts that your house is not yours but you know it is. That thought probably freaks you out and causes you alot of panic and anxiety, well that's the exact thing the panic wants. I know it sounds weird to be talking about panic as if it were a seperate entity but in a way it is. It will try to totally rob us of our life it's like self torture and when people say just stop doing it it's all in your head, in a way that's true it is in our heads but we can't just turn it off. It takes awhile to work through it and find the right combination of treatment that will work for us and sometimes just when we think we've got it licked the dern thing comes back! So I have found that what works best for me is to get angry at it, I'm tired of it taking away my life and robbing me of joy and peace. So now I refuse to let it get the best of me, I still have bad days and I worry and am scared of my own shadow, but I keep going and I'll never give up, I just put all of my faith and hope in the Lord and I know he will get me through this.
