Bianca,
Im glad your back driving again, you are making the effort and have done quite well, please reward yourself that you have done it. Dont despair as yet for totally not being able to expose one part without fear.
This area coming home, is it the same route to work in the morning or different? Or rather yet I kinda would have this problem it was in essence the same route, but divided highway coming home so it was seperated by the grass, driving home on the loop. I could pass by it in the on the way to work without the thoughts, but seeing it from the other side of the roads made me remember back that was were I had an anxiety attack, and the reason I was fearful of it. Too boot, I think the rush hour traffic home didnt help me anything as I felt my mind was racing faster than I could drive, it was weird this whole slow motion feeling with everything going fast around me feeling, when in all actually it wasnt, it just appeared that way.
Is this an area where you have had an attack so it provokes more anxiety coming home? And how long of any area? Its odd that the closer it is to work and the further from home it is, the more anxiety you feel, rather than it being only a mile or two from home, where you know it will be over in a split second or back to your safe boundary.
Try this, and be honest in your writing. Reply here as if you are approaching the area on your way home, describe the scenery, flat land, hilly, etc. Describe the sounds of the area, are they loud overwhelming with traffic, or quiet where if you imagined you got out of your car and stood there what would you hear? What is the first what if thought that runs through your head usually? Not the what if I had a panic attack, but is it This is where I had a panic attack, and afraid of having one again.
You will be able to break it down and get through this, I know your exposed too it, but the complete recovery is without the fear of it. We are behind you here, your biggest fans and supporters.
Trish
