I ask this, because I'm truly curious about the rest of you and whether nicotine is your only addiction. Or do you believe that we are addictive personalities who tend toward other addictive behaviors as well?
A couple of years ago, I realized I was developing a pretty serious gambling addiction. It got a mite scary, as I had to force myself to see what was really happening and the potential severe consequences if I didn't get a handle on things.
In both my gambling and smoking, I've come to realize that they both allowed me to hide from the world, to escape into my own carefree world where I didn't have to face anything I didn't want to. That was the major similarity. And of course, very, very dangerous.
I'm 55 years old and smoked since I was 20. My older brother and sister and father never smoked, but my mother was told to start smoking back in 1950 while pregnant with my sister (!!) She never quit until she died of breast cancer in 1989. In her 50's, she confessed to alcoholism and I know she would have loved the casinos had she lived long enough to see the advent of neighborhood casinos everywhere you turn. So why did my mother and I become addicted? Why not my father and sister and brother? I find that curious.
I was at a friend's wedding last night at a casino (one of my old haunts) of all places with my husband and a number of friends. My two major addictions were tested in that one location. I did well, I'm proud to say, sucked on a straw, gambled just a little (it didn't hold the same appeal and compulsion, thank God) and left after a few hours with burning eyes, stinky clothes and hair and just having broken even dollar-wise.
I know I have to watch the wine intake and the chocolate intake, because I do believe I have an addictive personality -- or maybe it's a little obsessive/compulsive. What I'm learning is that I have to watch myself and strive for moderation in most things and complete abstinence in others, like SMOKING! I cannot be a part-time smoker, I know that.
So, what do you all think of the addictive personality idea? Are some of you addicted to nicotine only and have found balance in the rest of your life? I'd be interested in knowing what you think.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/8/2006
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