So I'm paddling swiftly across the waves in my raft of bamboo.
The beams are glued together with inner strength, bound by a twine of faith and strips I've peeled off the gelatinous glumps of seaweed-emotions that keeps piling up in my wake.
Century beach is in sight. Can you see it?
It's golden edge beckons. A riot of colour and laughter and joy is bouncing down the gangway of the Magic Ship to the limbo party on the water's edge. There is life here. Real life.
I can see you paddling along beside me, all those who quit when I did, many who began long before, many since, others still who are beginning again. Man don't your arms hurt from the struggle against these battering waves? The salt from the water stinging your face like tears. Of joy, of pain, of sorrow, of loss.
Shall we take pause and reflect on the journey together? Shall we give thanks that we are not alone in this great cosmic struggle against the tide? Shall we look to the day the tsunami turns to a brook, babbling along, 'water under the bridge'?
The past. My world, my everything, to be finished with the past of nicotine. Leave me now, I've had quite enough of you.
Anger still fumes, sorrow still cries, joy still sparkles WITHOUT the cigarette. It's just more technicolor, more whizz bang, more Deee Lite 'Groove is in the Heart' now. Dig?
So the patch came off a week ago. The patch came off, the dial marked 'Heavy Emotional Baggage' turned full blast ON, and I'm like the tasmanian devil, whirling and whizzing through life at a pace. Who is this maniac one day, angry sardonic cow the next, brooding buffy no mates in the corner the next. Not ME. I'm not this -
Am I?
Oh. I see. I AM.
The raft is afloat, wind in my hair, I'm surfing into all those tomorrows I was in danger of losing for 20 years.
I know your struggle, like a darkened thunderhead. We are the light crashing through the cloud. We are strong.
We are really living now, baby.
x Todash
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 50
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,167
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �275
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17