Well, I screwed up. My boyfriend told me that I should come here and post since it was this site that helped to ensure my quit to begin with. I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it because I feel bad - like I don't want people to know that I failed. But I failed. I know it's only a setback. I'm planning my wedding which is taking place in 9 weeks, at our house, and it's just pressure-FILLED. The pressure has been mounting for weeks - all the things that need to be done and today just topped all days. I'd found a couple of butts a few days ago among stuff I was going through - and I smoked them (not right away...but after keeping them around a couple of days) but I told myself it was ok because I wasn't going to buy a pack of cigarettes. And then wouldn't you know it - I was so out of my head w/stress today (the reality of the financial aspect of this event being made totally clear) that I just drove to the store and bought a back. Even when I was standing there at the counter I thought "turn around and leave the store- it's not too late" but I didn't. I went a clear 53 days before I cheated with the butts. 53 days. And I really felt I was in the clear. And now here I am. Back to where I thought I would not ever be. I'm sad. I have will power - I'm able to harness it and use it when I want to - so WHY do I have such feeble hold on it when it comes to smoking? Why do I ALLOW myself to screw up. Grr...
So, now it's back to the beginning. Back to square one. You know, on a side note, I have to say - after having been quit 3 weeks I came down w/a horrible attack of acne. I barely ever had a pimple in highschool, let alone acne and I did my best to deal with it. I knew it was the smoking (or rather the quitting smoking) that caused it. Has anyone else had this problem? It became very bad and I've now had it for 5 weeks. I'd like to have a good solution before my body starts detoxifying again. I've been dealing with it - but it was a very discouraging side-effect of my quit and did not make me feel good - I would appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/22/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 60
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 600
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $180
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [
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Quit Meter
$684,240.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 5349
Hours: 4
Minutes: 15
Seconds: 51
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45616
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
912,320
Cigarettes Not Smoked
