For some of us, smoking (and not the addiction) is reality. Smoking was a relaxor for me. I new about the addiction but always thought I could handel it when I was ready. Well, "ready" came and went. I was more addicted than I thought and when it started to effect my health, I realized that the addiction was real and it was not going to be easy to fight it. As the years went by I seen family members become very ill from smoking and some of them even died a horrific death including my mother. I sat at her bedside and literally watched rust colored blood seep from her lips. Alway thinking to myself that she was just unlucky and that this could never happen to me. I was scared out of my skin. Well, I did make the connection. I was not going to let my kids watch me die a horrible death, no way! My whole life changed the day she expired. My wants changed, my attitude and even my through process was affected. The thought of seeing her lay in that coffin was terrifying to me. To watch my 5 older brothers weep and weep. To watch my father hug her in the coffin was a reality check for me. I watched the one most important person in my life lay ther helplessly knowing that I could not do one thing to bring her back. So yes, I was scared, scared enough to begin my journey into a life without nicotine. It took me several quits and a few years befor I finally put an end to these killers. But it took that January day to make me realize that I had to make changes no matter how long it took. My story was in now way a negative response. It sums up a very important meaning. You can say that the iddiction is more important than the will to live, but you cant hide the fact if the will gets the best of you, the outcome will be death. There is no other way to say it. It is a fact, not an intuition. So, I will say it again, should anyone think that they are losing there quit, perhaps you should re-think your quit. This is real folks, it is not fiction. this is what will happen. The encourgment, to quit tools, the forums are all there to help us. This is all fine and dandy. These tools that we have been provided with is a wonderful thing. But we must not forget what the ultimate outcome will be, weather it is in 5 years, or 1 year. We must look at it from many stand points, not just o