Hi Nurseboy,
I'm not about to tell you what you should or shouldn't do in your marriage, but I hope some outside perspective can help you make some decisions based on reality rather than fear.
Remind your wife not to be frustrated with you, but with the conditions OCD, and panic, you're facing.
I've never taken any medication but I know exactly what you mean by cognitively being aware of your love, without feeling the emotions associated with it. I've been through this myself. The way I dealt with my relationship was telling my partner everything I was thinking/feeling/afraid of. I do mean everything. I made it perfectly clear where I was coming from, I did not want to leave him second guessing anything. In one aspect I'm lucky, he's a very open, understanding person and a good listener. If your wife is not a good listener at this point. Tell her you're going to drag her kicking and screaming behind you, if you have to. In order to do everything in your power to restore your relationship. I'm a big believer in the power of words and this is not about making the marriage 'work'. It's about making the marriage a happy and loving one.
No one can predict the way this is going to go. If the two of you do end up divorcing please please do it knowing you've tried everything. Theres nothing worse than unfinished emotions and things left unsaid. Try not to get into fights, nothing gets resolved that way. Instead address the issues in a calm manner. Make it a rule between you not to argue. Communication is the key to happiness in the long run, no matter how things turn out.
Oh and the way I got out of that emptiness. I had to bite the bullet and let myself feel again. Any kind of feeling is scary when you're delicate. It also feels like this is the way it's going to be from here on in. The feelings do come back, it's scary to begin with but then theres no way around those fears. It's natural, they disappear.
Hope this helps, keep us posted and good luck with everything. :)
