Thanks everyone for all your hope.
This has not been as easy as I thought. I am not doing well - I think it is because my decision was made so compulsively with no preparation in advance. I have been all over the map. I can see now that willingness is not enough, I need to use the program tools thoroughly. Similar to the program I work to stay clean, like going to treatment, going to meetings, asking for help, I need to take direction from those who have gone before me and the suggestion I keep seeing on this site is to go through the program laid out here.
I am so frustrated with myself and I need to realize that just like any other drug, I need to accept my powerlessness and seek help from others.
I feel embarrassed but I know that it's pride and ego and I need to be humble and seek direction. And ask for help.
HELP!
Colleen
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Quit Meter
$59,476.30
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 6539
Hours: 20
Minutes: 5
Seconds: 40
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45751
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
183,004
Cigarettes Not Smoked