Years ago I had to accept that I was always going to be fat, always have a problem with my weight and deal with it from that point. After I went down to 125 and a size four, I remained there for many years, always guarding against that weight gain because I always knew that basically I was fat.
I gained 52 pounds with this quit because I was not paying attention. The fight with cigarettes was so hard and took up so much of my energy that there was nothing left to fight the weight gain.
That's background, now I have to accept the fact that the craving for cigarettes like my craving for pie, cake and cookies will always be there. I have taken this train as far as it will go. For decades I was a thin fat person, now I have to be a non-smoking smoker. It's like alcoholisim, you might always want the drink, just not have one, and live like that every day.
This makes me almost unbearably sad. I don't know that I have the fight in me for two unending, daily, lifelong battles.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/27/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 144
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,320
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,440.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
