A little background..I suffered with major anxiety and panic attacks for 25 years. My world was limited but I did continue to work, bring up a family and enjoy my friends. During that time a tiny bit of valium was all I took. I wouldn't even take an aspirin if I had a pain. About 14 years ago I developed increased symptoms and decided to bite the bullet and go on meds. At that time Tofranil was the drug of choice and bit by bit I increased the dosage (in wicked fear all the time that now I would finally go insane)til I remember one day about 3 months into taking the meds that I realized that the chatter in my head had stopped and I felt "normal" or at least I perceived what normal felt like to those who didn't have a panic disorder. After taking the Tofranil for a few years Prozac and Zoloft became available and due to some annoying side effects from the Tofranil I switched to Zoloft.
So for the past 14 years I've been relatively ok, occasional panic attacks, normal anxiety, and my world has expanded enormously. Even with some limits my life is good. I'd love to hop on a plane and go to Italy but not yet.
Three weeks ago I woke up with a major panic attack. According to my docs the extreme stress in my life..my
best friend is dying of cancer and I've had some medical problems myself that have limited my movement..have blown through the Zoloft and I've been in a state of anxiety ever since. I'm playing around with Xanax to get a dose that relieves my anxiety but doesn't put me to sleep and think I have discovered that the new Xanax XR might be helpful. I fight with myself all the time that I should allow myself to feel anxious ,learn to flow with it, meds are a crutch. So much of my readings make a issue about taking medication, as if we are wimps if we need to use drugs. But I'm suffering and my once glorious life is being impacted so much.
So after a long and winded story the question I have is why do WE make such an issue of medication? Is it necessary to be a martyr and work our way through this pain on our own with no assistance from drugs. I want to learn to let myself just BE...
