HI - I know the feeling all too well....Ive been in and out of panic for close to 15 years. ... the first time you beat it you feel at the top of the world but every time it comes back it gets harder and harder mentally to cope because you work so so hard to get well and it comes back....we are the strongest people out there ,,,, believe me, most of the people i know that think i am weak wouldnt be able to cope one day with panic disorder....i think we just need to adjust our lives to this illness and perhaps meds indefinitely...... its hard, believe me i know, i relapsed 1 year ago and cant seem to come back to remission.