Hi Everyone,
Well, it's another one of those days. I feel like I can't do anything and everything I think is just panicky and scared. My main problem right now is I'm stuck in thinking that I need to "fix myself". Does that happen to anyone else?? I've been thinking for so long that there is something "wrong" with me, and that I need to do this, that, and the other thing to keep myself from being anxious. I think that's mostly what the problem is right now. I think something like "No wonder I felt so bad in that situation, it was because I felt like I was a failure. From now on, I have to make sure I don't let myself feel like failure." So, I start concentrating all my efforts on not feeling like a failure in all situations, and that makes me feel bad for some reason (at this point, I'm not sure why). So, I start speculating reasons for feeling bad. Maybe I come up with something like "I need to balance all my feelings. If I am feeling like a faliure, then I should allow myself to feel that way and not squash that out." But at this point I am totally confused and I'm wondering "Do I keep myself from feeling like a faliure or do I not?", and then that confusion gets analyzed and I think something like "I am confused. That means I have to do something. But what??". So, basically, any bad feeling I have makes me feel like I need to do something to fix it. This bad feeling I have about having bad feelings makes me feel like I need to fix it somehow, like, maybe accepting how I feel or something like that. I know that it takes a lot to explain, and I don't know if there is anyone else out there who feels that way (or can understand what the heck I'm talking about:) ), but if there is anyone who can empathyze, help!! I don't know what to do about this problem. Should I do anything?? And, hey, that's just what I was talking about. I'm obsessing over fixing this problem and I don't know how to stop. Arg.
