Bear,
I too denied the fact that I needed any kind of help. I blamed everything on quitting smoking and other outside forces. The problem with that is it didn't help me at all. I tried to tough it out and deal with things like "normal" people do. I was always asking myself "what is wrong with me?". I found support here and people who said there isn't anything wrong with you. I thought I was mental, crazy, insane, didn't have a handle on life and if I needed drugs, that just verified that I was a nut.
I know there are probably others that experience the same issues. It finally got to the point where something had to change. My ability to function normally, (go to work, take care of kids, clean the house) was suffering. I remember one day not long before I started the medication, I cleaned the bathroom and that was a major success. I could not continue to live like that. I went to the doctor and he put me on medication. I had no idea what was wrong with me. When the doctor said he wanted to try the anti-depressants and had been thinking about it for a while, I thought he had just committed me to an insane aslymn. Seriously! It devastated me and really tore my world apart. I still have a hard time comprehending the chemical imbalance. It isn't as clear to me as it is to those around me. There are those around me that know instantly if I have skipped doses of my medicine or if I need a little something extra (which is also prescribed and I do have to use them on ocassion)
That was almost a year ago now. If I had to choose between the medication and smoking to get through the days, I choose the medication. I am now a happy person and I function quite well. I do wish I didn't need the meds but it has been proven often for the last year that I do.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 781
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,620
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,733.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 70 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25