Tigergirl, Sky and Josie, Thank you for your welcoming words ! Today is one of my "bad" days, stayed home from work today and my stomach is really upset. My youngest is supposed to go horseback riding today, but I don't know if I will cope. I had a meeting at work yesterday that I had been worrying a lot about. The meeting went fine, and I often find that I will cope doing what I must do, but the days before and afterwards, boy, I'm just not human... Makes me sad and angry ! I'm so tired of this "condition" ! / Lena

welcome to the program spicegirl. i too, have children...three girls. it's been one of the biggest challenges with panic... being by myself with them. i love them more than life itself and i'm not afraid of them or anything, i just feared having an attack when i was alone with them with nobody to watch then for me if i needed to leave for a while in the middle of one. well, good luck on the program. i think you'll find tremendous relief from hearing and sharing stories of anxiety and panic. it's great to hear other people explain the weird and scary thoughts we all have during these episodes. it makes you realize that you're not the only one with a pain in the ass brain that imagines the scariest scenerio possible. talk to you later. stay positive and never give up!!!

spicegirl, Welcome to the site. The first advice we tell our new members is to check with their doctor if they are not feeling well. There could be some underlying symptoms that need to be addressed. Please try our "Panic Test" to the left of your screen. This will help better assess the situation for your doctor and yourself. Most importantly, please continue to post with our online support group. There are many people that have the same questions and concerns as you do. Stay strong, Josie

Hey Tigergirl, thanks I feel a real warmth from you too. Feel free to email me if you like. Yeah, I get what you’re saying about wanting to control things and giving up what we feel we can’t make perfect. It’s a panic sufferers crusade heh. True control comes from accepting we don’t have control over all things. A real tough thing to accept for most of us. I say to myself there’s plenty of perfection in imperfection. A way of gaining self trust above all else. I really hate panic disorder too. Having said this, I don’t really regret panic either. You can’t, you just have to get on with things. For every negative there’s got to be a positive. If one thing’s gonna come out of panic, I reckon it’s got to be knowledge. Spicegirl, welcome to the place. You have a great attitude, learning about your symptoms and fears is one of the best things you can do. I found a lot of relief in it too. Good luck with the program, go at your own pace there’s no rush. It’s helped myself and many others tremendously.

Hi, I'm new here as well, and just as all you others who has responded to this topic, one of my greatest fears is to be sick to my stomach. I try to cope with it by trying to learn how the digestion works, how your body responds to the sensation of fear and telling my self that my body is doing the right thing, just in the wrong situation and that if I learn to relax the symptoms most probaly will go away. It's not easy, and over the years I've become a master of avoidance. I just found out about the panic center, and I will try to complete the 12 week program to see if this can help me. I have two children of my own and my husband have to aswell, not being able to participate in their lives the way I would want to makes me depressed. For now, I will browse around and try to find some succes stories !

hey sky, wow! you are so perceptive and a wonderful listener and support. i really felt understanding and warmth in your response. you are so right when you say that our common link is fear of losing control. i know i'm a control freak! and i'm also a perfectionist in quite a few aspects of life. in fact, sometimes i'm a complete slob with things because i'm such a perfectionist. doesn't make sense, right? i used to quit at things or just not try if they weren't perfect. for example...if my house got really messy while i was gone then i would get overwhelmed and not clean it and it would get nasty. and i'm not a dirty person. but i would just get so upset that it wasn't absolutely perfect. my thinking is that if i can't do something really well then i don't want to do it at all. if someone asks me to try something new and i don't think i can do it, i will refuse to do it. i'm starting to change that though. i'm sure that's a big aspect of the panic. because i feel like i haven't mastered the ability to overcome a panic attack smoothly and calmly, so i am terrified of it. i really like the way you said the only way to overcome panic disorder is to embrace it. i can definatly say that's one approach i haven't tried. i hate panic disoder. i mean i really hate it. but i think you're right, if we embraced it maybe we wouldn't fear it so much. please write again, i really felt a bond with you and would like to talk again.

Tigergirl, I’ve been pretty good thanks. I’m very much like you in that I’m spiritual, without being religious. I’m glad you did go on a tangent cause I enjoyed reading all of that! I believe that all we fear, all the phobias, what we’re scared of the most is a feeling. I think the feeling is one of losing control. So, all the symptoms and thoughts are necessary to create the feelings. Same with all feelings and moods. There’s a spark and then the emotion follows through. Even a fear of death, I think is ultimately a fear of losing control. In the midst of a panic attack it seldom occurs to us that all we’re doing is fearing an emotion. But I really feel this is the reality of it. I believe fearing lack of control is a common link. Also think all panic sufferers are perfectionists in at least one area of life. I believe the only cure for panic disorder is our own acceptance of it. Attitude is everything and we create what we fear to a large extent. I’m starting to get to a point now where I’m able to embrace a panic attack. I still fear and it’s still hard but I’m confident with panic now and in a weird way I trust it. It’s like, there’s you, and there’s panic, I think it’s important not to get the two mixed in with eachother. Because if we do, it’d be like trying to watch TV with the stereo up loud next to it. It’s hard to grasp what’s going on. I say embrace the panic but don’t get your own identity mixed up with panic. The only thing that can change us is ourselves and the choices we make, panic doesn’t get a say in that, unless it’s what we choose. I wouldn’t be typing those words this time last year, panic had such a hold over me. I really want everyone to trust no matter how convincing panic can be you do and you will survive it. The only way out of panic is through and there’s nothing at the end but a relieved sigh and a much welcomed smile. I can only imagine what it’s like to be a parent. Not wanting to panic in front of your children must make the panic worse a lot of the time. It might not be such a bad thing, however, if you do panic in front of your kids from time to time. It could be healthy too, if the

[i]Hi there, I recently joined this community and I wanted to see if anyone had any coping mechanisms or help for me regarding my fears. For as long as I can remember I have been afraid of vomiting, particularly afraid of feeling sick when I am out and not able to get home or escape from whatever situation I am in.[/i] ^ that is me i feel like that to your not alone i dont have a coping mech tho.. i just survive dont know how and sometimes why :P im looking for some aswell your not alone def. not! :)

hey sky, how have you been for the past couple of days? to reply to the part about staying positive: i really haven't had much depression for a long time now. i really love life (most of the time), and cherish my time here. i also think that this disorder didn't just pick me or any of us to make our lives to make us miserable or anything. i am a very spiritual person. NOT religious or dogmatic. i firmly believe that i am supposed to learn something major from this. maybe even that it's one of my biggest challenges in this lifetime to overcome before "graduating" to the next lesson. this whole panic disorder thing is pretty wierd, isn't it? because i can get out in front of a hundred people and dance my butt off because i know i can dance, but ask me to go out and add large numbers in my head or even semi-large numbers in my head in front of people and i will panic!!! i mean there's a lot more to it than that, but sometimes it's very contradictory. one of my fears is of being alone with my children from 4 - 6 a.m. because my mind will race with fear of having an attack when i'm alone with them and them seeing thier mother, whom is supposed to be a rock, make an ass out of herself or worse yet...have to leave to get fresh air and not be able to because i have to stay with them. when i had the first 3 attack, i was so overwhelmed with the neccesity to leave!!! and i'm also WAY afraid of needles, doc's, dentists, med's,etc. too many phobias. and it makes no common sense because i'm actually a fairly intelligent, nice and happy person. even on the inside. i don't have to just put on an act of happiness or kindness. if i'm unhappy i usually let it show. but i try my very best not to let phobias or fear show. yes we are all afraid of the way this stuff makes us feel, but are you more afraid of the actual feelings or the fear of others reactions to the symptoms? for me it's probably both equally. i can;t believe there hasn't actually been a definative cause or cure found for this yet. i don't trust dr's too much because the learn from the pharmecutical company's who don't give one rat's ass about people and will alter anything to sell it under a different name and make billions of money. sorry, i didn't mean to go on a tangent. anyway the

I sometimes feel like my stomach is in control and I'm just along for the ride. I'm scared to be alone. That fear stems from the fact that I don't want to be alone and sick. I can't eat when I know my husband is about to go somewhere and I'm going to be home by myself. Of course, not eating makes you feel worse. I'm also afraid of being sick in public. I am 35 years old. I threw up in class in 8th grade and I still haven't gotten over the embarassment! I imagine myself as that weak, shakey little girl who can't take care of herself. It's an awful feeling. I also am really afraid of being "the other kind of sick" when I'm alone. I've spent several times sitting on the toilet and throwing up at the same time. OK, it's only happened 3 times in my whole life, but I replay it every time I feel sick (especially when I'm alone). I just can't seem to trust myself. I know I don't get that sick every time. It's just the thought of being sick (throwing up, etc.) and having no one to take care of me. Didn't mean to go on and on. Sorry. It's good to see others out there with similar fears. Thanks for sharing them. katie