I feel a little lucky when I read everyone else's fears because (perhaps I hve more but they have not surfaced yet??) my fears stem from childhood molestation. I was 4 or 5 and the people that I trusted the most, betrayed me, virtually anihilated me as a person because they made me beleive that I was not valuable enough to protect against trauma. I have PTSD anxiety. This creates in me a fear of loosing people that I trust (if I can trust at all!!). This translates to fear on a sexual level, whereby, if my husband shows interest in another woman, I feel fear that for the duration of his interest, I do not exist. I am finding this out slowly, through therapy with a clinical psychologist who specializes in PTSD. It makes a lot of sense. I can see more clearly the reasons for my fears, but I am still unable to control them. I think more therapy will help me. Still, I feel very alone, for 50 years of my life i have battled this fear, through numerous serious relationships (the cause of the breakups has been the fear of loosing them even for a moment and I am usually the one to walk, to avoid the brick wall of abandonment). It has never helped for them to say that "I will never leave you", for some reason this doesn't ring true, I think I know human nature too well to believe words. I don't know what it will take for me to trust people, perhaps time and trials. Meanwhile, I continue to grieve the little girl inside me, and love her the best I can to calm her. I think I may try some rapid eye movement therapy to counteract the immediate fears that I feel today, while still working on the deepest fears that I have from childhood. In addition, Valium helps alot to alleviate the fear butterflies that I get, Tagamet to calm the nausea and also the butterflies, and Buspar for the moment. Childhood trauma can cause so much damage, it remains with us for our lives and really colors the world. I have realized that the pictures taken of me around that period show a little girl that never smiles....this was a realization that I came to only a few days ago....I do beleive that therapy helps, but at the same time, I am (again) fearful of uncovering the pain of the incident-not sure I want to go there yet. Probably need to feel much stronger before I start ope

Let's see...my biggest fears are: Abandonment. My dad left me when I was 7 and never came back. My mum did the best she could, but it was really hard most of the time. Elevators. I've been stuck in one once, and that was more than enough. Subways. They are noisy, crowded, too bright, and smelly. They always get stuck right in the middle of the tunnel, too. No fun at all. So, when I can, I take the bus. When I can't take the bus, I take a cab. Worth the investment because I arrive at my destination relatively panic-free. Malls. They are the invention of the devil! I can never see out, never find the door and to make matters worse, I'm really short, so I can't see over the crowds. And yes, they are too expensive. LOL Restaurants. I am completely afraid to eat out. I always end up getting stuck at a table smack in the middle of everyone (and I feel like everyone is staring at me) and I get the slowest server known to man. A little too much for Panic Patty (that would be me) Well. I guess there's a pattern here. Looks like I'm afraid of enclosed and wide open spaces. I have developed a fear of dying since my panic flare up last year. Sometimes so bad that I can't sleep. At least I'm not alone in these fears. Participating in this forum makes me feel less crazy. Thanks to all. Sarah :)

I have various fears. I've had the fear of dying since I was a small child. I used to imagine my whole family had died and I would be all alone. I have no idea where this came from. I also had a fear of falling asleep because I would not wake up. This, of course, gave me insomnia. I have no idea why I felt these things as a small child. My mother died of cancer when I was 10 (1976). Thi placed me in a world where I would block almost everything out. It was years before I could talk about her death in a constructive way. I finally found some comfort in a singer named Tori Amos in 1994. Her music has helped so much since then whether it be at live shows or meeting her. I used to fear flying, but if I am putting myself in that position of being on a plane with someone else flying it, I figure, why be afraid? It's all up to the machine and pilot then and I find it worth it to be traveling to London or somewhre else lovely, than not doing it and taking the chance at all. I too fear being around crowds at certain times. But other times I am fine. I guess it's all up to chemistry at that moment. I usd to have immense trouble going to malls. Now I don't like malls anyway. LOL.Prices too high. Dark highways at night are not good. That's what started my panic attacks last winter, driving on I4 in Florida. World events also scare me. It's out of our control, but not knowing is scary. I don't want to bring up any phobias for fear of giving them to someone else. Hope those are helpful. David

Hey tony75. Your message just cought my eye because you are Christian. So am i and my biggest anxiety comes from being afraid that i will die from an annurysm. I hate being afraid because I feel like I am betraying God. I think it might be the pain I am fearing, or, like you said, the unknown - leaving this place behind. What sort of things help you to calm down and put things in perspective?

No kidding Khris, ....there is always that something to worry about isn't there!!! lol No kidding....when they took me in the ambulance, they did a twelve lead on my heart (I was 54 at the time, these attacks have come to me rather late in life)and the insurance wouldn't pay for it, as they thought it was over and above the "necessary" course of action. Why is there so much ignorance out there about these panic attacks? It seems like there are alot of people who suffer from them, yet the medical community behaves as though its another one of those "imagined" illnesses that people have, (especially women??) Vaso Vagal Syncope is the closest diagnosis any medical center has ever been able to make on my fainting spells (that sounds awfully Victorian doesn't it? lol) yet, my md says its anxiety.... I wonder sometimes if it isn't just a matter of time until the next one, and that, for the rest of my life????? I am going into therapy on the 9th of September - this may help alleviate some of the fears that cause these attacks and may in turn, lessen the number of them. Meanwhile, its meds and meds........ Take care everyone and continue to think of white sand beaches, the sound of aqua waves washing on the shore, the gentle cool breeze of the Pacific...... Please continue to write...this is therapy in itself ina way!! lol

But if we go away...... Then we will be alone when we freak. And think of the time it will take us to drive to the ER so they can hook us up to the heart monitor and tell us we are fine. We would panic just thinking about how long it would take an ambulance to get to our house. lol. We are a mess.

Hi guys!! I've emjoyed reading your scripts! The first time I fainted, it was outside of a bar where I had actually had only two drinks (which for me is nothing under normal circumstances) they called an ambulance and took me to ER. Well, I just changed doctors (mdoc) and got my chart sent to me.....the nurse in the ER wrote that I said I had had too much to drink.......it wasn't true. So, call it a stigma, I don't know, but people out there don't understand panic attacks.....that is for sure. Not even in a hopsital setting. I eventually had to quit my position there, as I had another one during working hours.....just passed out at the smoking area. I am on a med called Buspar which is helping a bit but I still feel those butterflies in my stomach and right now am going through an "estrangement" period from hubby due to the PMS I had last week - sometimes I just want to go away and live away, far away from people.....

Tigergirl and Rachele, Wow it was cool reading your posts. I have had the same thoughts about the cop and having him mistakenly think i was drunk or on drugs. I am scared of traffic too. I'ts not my driving I'm scared of, its the thought that maybe another driver might cause an accident that I could be involved in and have no control over. My husband and I just got back from vacation last night. We went about 400 miles away to the beach. (normally my favorite place in the world) I survived the trip better than I thought I would considering my anxiety level has been so high lately. Want to hear something stupid? As soon as I got safely home and into my house I had a terrible panic attack! I was thinking about how far away I had been, and what if something bad had happened. In my mind I was picturing another car hitting us on the interstate, we were either dead or critically injured. No one would know how to contact our families or anything. Of course at the time we are having these wild thoughts it seems so real. Later when the panic attack passed and I calmed down I felt incredibly stupid! I mean, why think such terrible things after I was safely at home and nothing bad had happened? This disorder sometimes makes me feel like I am totally losing it. Oh yeah, it is that time of month for me also, and yes it does really make things worse!!! Sammi

Tigergirl, I have had many of the same thoughts you describe.... even with the cop! I know for sure that I could handle it if I got stuck in a traffic jam but I always get off the busy roads if I think I may be stuck just in case. The panic is soooo bizarre isn't it?!? I remember being stuck in my car for 11 hours in a snow storm and not having any issue at all but still I worry, as if it will be different next time. Ridiculous! Rachele

hi, i'm laughing back with you at the helicopter comment. you don't know how many times i've imagined that exact scenerio!!! when i think about driving out of my little town into a city, i can so vivdly imagine getting stuck in a traffic jam and i SEE myself, in my mind, having a massive panic attack and calling 911 thinking i'm dying and just knowing i HAVE to get out NOW. wouldn't that be a treat? they'd probably lock me up for making a big scene. of course i know this won't happen. but i don't know it when i'm thinking about doing it or actually having an attack. and when i go to the movies or whatever, i always take an outside seat JUST IN CASE. the last big panic attack i had while driving outside of my 15-25 minute "SAFE ZONE" i got nervous and turned around and as soon and as i did that, WHAM a huge attack and i felt like i wanted to ram the car into the other cars or something just to get me out of there. of course i didn't do it but the urge to get out now is so intense in the middle of these things it's scary. what if i actually did something stupid like what i imagine i would do in the middle of one? of course i've read a million books that say this is normal, and that we will never do the things we fear, but the images in the middle of an attack are so real, aren't they? it makes you feel like a weirdo nutball!!! i wouldn't want to crash into someone or accidentally hurt someone in the middle of one. and another big fear is getting pulled over in the middle of one. what if the cop thought i was like totally on drugs or drunk or something because i was having an attack and shaking and freaking out. you can't just pull away from a cop and get home to safety even if you're not doing anything wrong, until they're done. i would feel so trapped and the fear of being falsely arrested due to them mistaking my symptoms is so real!!! i don't know how to get over this fear because realistically speaking, mmost cops don't know the first thing about panic attacks and they'd probably make you do a sobriety test or whatever. the thought of having to be stuck with a cop in one...no way!!! i really want to get over these fears!!! our minds are just so good at scaring us, aren't they? i look forward to hearing back from you.