Well this is what it's all about. Getting through life, as crappy as our nicotine addicted minds make it out to be, without smoking.
I said to myself yesterday, ok, I'm feeling pretty sad and bad, lonely, depressed, angry, frustrated today - so it's got to be better tomorrow...WRONG. Can't seem to stop crying today, then I get mad, and then....well I feel like I can't take it anymore.
Just feeling sorry for myself, basically. I had some surgery last week and I am in pain....BooHoo. I had unrealistic unexpectations about this surgery, I guess, and I am not happy with my progress to date. And the Junkie just loves it when I am not at the top of my game. Keeps banging me on the top of my head with...come on, come on, come on - I know what will make it better....
Well I do know better than to listen, and I really am doing a good job at not having conversations with the Junkie, but all this emotional energy I'm having to expend right now is exhausting, and as is par for the course for me, I keep getting too far ahead of myself. Forgetting to stay in the moment.
I have spent quite a bit of time under the covers this week, but that it is not working anymore, and because of my surgery and the pain, I feel absolutely useless. Hubby is not all that sensitive, which isn't making it any easier.
Sorry for the whine, but I thought if I got it off my chest, it might help. Also I really don't have anything else in my coping mechanism box that I feel motivated to pull out right now. Don't know if that makes sense. All I know is I want to make it through this rough period smoke-free, and so far, I am.
Thanks for listening.
I promise to stay smoke-free this weekend!
Judy
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/13/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 63
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,260
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $724.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41
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Quit Meter
$331,783.65
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 6052
Hours: 2
Minutes: 17
Seconds: 7
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45606
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
684,090
Cigarettes Not Smoked
