Lady. Thank You. That you read, comment and post are for me so very embracing. Your reaching to me is helpful, encouraging and I love that for you it is all about being quit. To the point, direct, if you are quit you are quit. This is inspirational to me and I use that thinking very, very often. [font=Script MT Bold][color=Red][b]Quit is Quit - There are NO ifs, ands or BUTTS![/b][/color][/font] Thanks. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 268 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $97.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21

AHHHHHHH Yighhhhhhhhh I just got off the phonew from a very frustrating press 1 for blagh blagh blagh, press 3 for even less service press 0 for an agent and the phone goes freakin busy aghhhhhh I would have in my former life gone out, stomped around the block and smoked about 5 cigarettes. Thanks to the wonders of modern tech I can replace that with clicking a few dabs and dashes into my handy dandy keyboard post a little bit of fluff and rather than a couple of hundred puffs of poisonous smoke into my lungs I get to flick this irritation off into the internet where it harms no one (HOPEFULLY). OOOOOOOOOOOO. Those are smoke rings and they have been trans formed through the wonder of this site into a couple of little visual blips. so Thanks ssc. I got through this little drama and I didn't smoke. Hooooray! Phillip Thanks for being there/here/outthere! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 14 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 291 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $105 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Thanks for the info about licorice. Just back at 11:45 and the day started at 6:30 this dark am. Tomorrow will be two weeks. I am sooooooo excited and very happy. There is something and I do know what. Determination, choice and absolute resolute commitment to doing this quit and being quit and giving myself the full experience of quit. and Tomorrow is two weeks 14 day and omg I am half way to thirty and a tenth the way to 150 and the beach and all the wonderful rewards. Speaking of rewards going to a concert tomorrow night and out for dinner the night after and I will buy some clothes as I have dropped at least two inches from my waist. That swimming, as much as I might curse it as I am in the water, is actually helping me reshape my body. It is really wonderful because people have really noticed. I have been very good with the chocolate and have been resolute around eating dried fruit instead of as much chocolate. I have been drinking a lot of water and that is very good. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm tham is a very happy hummm. Off to nod and another round tomorrow. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 279 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $97.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

Patience. To actually practice patience. I am and have been very impulsive. I think that part of that very impulsiveness is the habit of just lighting up. Whenever I was something, overwhelmed, nervous, afraid, excited, angry ... the list is endless, I would light a smoke or if that was not an option, I would think about smoking. That is all changing now, and I know that I need to be patient with myself as I come up with new methods of getting through. For each and every circumstance when I would smoke I am finding that I am having to find something else to do. That about 20 or 30 plus new somethings everyday. I know that I am an imaginitive guy and this sometimes is stretching even my realm of creativity to come up with new ways, things to do. Yesterday was great, I had a party, the party lasted all day and into the night. It was a lot of fun.I know that it is soon going to be gardening time and biking time and all of the things that come along with being able to live outside. Those things all take some time however and smoking was a neat little fixit in a few minutes. Snacking can do it and there are only so many almonds, apple wedges or other bits that I can take in a day, patience, give my self a few moments and I am sure that I will be able to come up with something else. This site has been great and I can only load this program onto my home computer, so I am not so lucky at work or if I am travelling, my lap top is not a pc and can not load .net and my work computer is on a network that has massive filtering on it and will not load a whole page. So at work I need to get through the five minutes, ten minutes or so where I get through. I have taken to labeling my books, being more precice with my reciepts and keeping my whole office very neat. Travelling or working out of the office or out of my home I have not been brave enough to try and there will be a time in the very near future where I will have to step out and do. Patience as I find an new way there, trust in my own creativity to do different. I need to practice patience as I get through every motion. When I was impatient, it was primarily with myself. I tended to treat myself pretty harshly and when I am patient with myself I am a much more gentle person. I had thought that I was com

So now that I have myself all worked up about smoking socially. I am going to go to bed. First a little beddy by story. I was really happy to post what I did today. I was even more happy to get the responses I got. Get myself a little less serious. Thanks Lady and Luna. Bean I am not a writter although writting is part of my living, we can not get too personal here and besides I love the anonimity, I get to be very free. I know for me it is really hard to get used to the changes that are taking place in me. I am more able to get through my days at work. I don't have to suffer the embarrasement of sneaking out of the building to walk around the corner to sneak a cigarette. Or two pushed down and smoked hard so I could get back in less than ten minutes. That was stressful. I am sorry that I put myself through that. I don't feel the need to rush out and sneak a puff after everyone has eaten and before dessert. That was deseatful and really stressful and I am sorry that I put myself through that. There are twenty and more places each day where I went through some sort of anxiety, stress or just plain had to coverup and lie about smoking or the lingering effect of smoking on me. This does not cover the constant hacking and coughing or how mortified I would be if I had to hurry, not run but just hurry somewhere, I would be out of breath and puffing away. Not pleasant for a short little fat grey haired man. (That is not really me) ROTFLOL Sweet dreams. Tomorrow is another day and there will be more fun and adventure, right here in River City. Miss you Redrosie and Ron47 and Shevie and some of the other regulars, here in these parts. See you all soon. :eg: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 40 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 800 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $300 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Lady Gladly taking your hand. Journeying together along this road to a new and different life. A life free from addiction. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 849 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41

Hmmm Been at this six weeks. Nothing much to report in the way of any kind of excitement. I just don't feel excited. That sense of boredom or eternal ongoing flatness is different than I usually am. I do feel very tired a lot of the time and that is different that I usually am. I am not so hungry anymore. I don't really want much of anything. EXCEPT FOR THAT FIFTEEN THOUSAND POUND CIGARETTE. I have been doing all kinds of distractive things and my mind simply keeps going back to smoking. All those junkie thoughts all those lies that the addict tells in order to get what he wants. So I come here, post and see what moves back. Weekend blahs, although I work an unusual work week and there really is no such thing as a weekend there are days off and then there are days off together. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 868 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $322.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Lady Thank you for your response and there is much in it that I value. In fact I value much of what is said here, I would not spend as much time as I do reading, writting and putting my life energy into this site. You have not offended me. I will however not engage in a theological discussion here in this forum or in any other venue. That said I am going to flesh out my post from last night and (quoting you, Lady, Loosley asit might be) any one can take from what I say what they want and leave the rest. FOR ME: THIS JOURNEY IS ALL ABOUT PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY I have an enormous stake in what I am doing to change my life. When I started this journey to quit smoking I had no idea the impact and reference that it would have in every area of my life. For me in this moment, in this time, at this point in my life if I even think, say, actively let one single ounce of my strength shift from my resolve to fight and win over my life from the addiction that I have to nicotine, I will loose. I know and firmly believe that I must take complete, and absolute control of my life and the choices that I make in it. I will fail if I give over to a book, a drug, a system of physical manilulation, a system of mental or cognitive shifting or giving my faith to another human being. It is I, alone, that must stand in this battle with addiction, I must find my own power and use my power with responsibility. In order for me to win I must stand ridigly strong in my resolve that I will never ever smoke another cigarette, or consume into my body any form of tobacco. Thanks all Blessing t each of you. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 848 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

Tired, hard day, impatient. I wonder sometimes if anyone out there understands ownership. The idea of owning what is in them. I want and am willing to own the addict in me. I take responsability for the choices that I make every day. Now I know I am tired and that this day has been long, but I just sometimes do not understand the world. This place of not understanding ownership makes me very grumpy and I will just say this little bit. I don't want to read anymore about help me when it is all I can do to help myself. Sorry. Giving our power over to another power is beyond me. I have to know that it is totaly my choice and that I have to own that choice. I know that there are actions, and events that I control and that there are events and actions that I don't control. AND I don't want to read crys for some power to come out of the sky and save anyone from smoking the choice is always ours and ours alone. My learning in this is that I get intolerant when I am not understanding and being grumpy. Not very helpful nd that is what it is in his moment. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 41 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 834 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $307.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45

Yes I do keep searching. Today I am looking at what I value. What gives me reward and what builds me, rather than taking away. I keep getting back to exercise and how important this has been to me. I will not cite studies or look for the acadamia of what working out means; however, when I am swimming and I mean really swimming I feel better. The swimming needs to be every other day for at least an hour, so I get my heart rate up and I get my blood flowing, I feel better. When I swim I am less depressed (seems simple and I am sure that there is some very comples chemistry going on inside my brain). When I swim, I am more able to focus on my business and what exactly I am doing. I get to focus more clearly on my goals and where I want to be at 100 days or at the end of my year of being smoke free. I know that I could only have done this amount of physical work with no smoking. There are many threads, groups of posts on his site that speak to the idea or concept of refocusing, taking a wider view, getting off the whole idea of focusing so intently on the act of quitting. I am finding that this widening of my focus has me more able to concentate my energy onto other aspects of my life. The most interesting part of this is that as I refocus I become more committed and firmer in my resolve to stay quit. Realizing the whole while that everything I am doing is contingent upon the quit. Exercise = more ability with no smoke. April travel = more fun with no smoke. Cooking better food = more able to taste enjoy with no smoke. Social life = more flexible and more ease with no smoke. Interesting that for every choice there is an added benefit without smoking. What adds value to my life? Where can I get more energy and more focus for all of life? Where can I get the resolve and the stamina to keep up what I have started? What do I reenforce my quit with? What is a reward? What helps to sooth the addict voice and the addict behaviour? What calms the sea and swirl of thought and allows for clarity and focus? The journey continues. The exploration moves on. Looking forward to the next days, months, years on this so awesome trip. Cheers Phillip :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 47 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 948