I am so glad that I'm not the only one afraid to be alone. My gosh, I get panicky, can't wait to get out of the house and visit my family. But I know I have to deal with it. I also have a fear of not being able to fall asleep. It sounds stupid but if I don't have any medicine to help me, I'll be up all night or as I doze off, my body goes into a panic and wakes me up again. But thank God for medication and therapists! Do you have that fear?
Oh blah. This week has been painfully long and there are still two days left to get through. I'm worried I'm going to work myself into a panic again today. All I can think this morning is that I have another 8 hours to try to get through till anyone gets home again and that the day is so long. I don't want to do it. I'd like to just go to bed and sleep the day away.
Thank you Sammi, I'll add you to my yahoo. I'm not having a good day today at all. Started out ok this morning but went downhill from there. I'm sitting here in pain, alone and feeling literally like I want to escape. Had a few waves of panic and I know it's not done with me yet.
I did force myself to go to the new therapist today.
Rebecca,
I just read your posts and I can really relate to them. At this time I am not working, (which is causing me anxiety lol) if you'd like another online friend I'm always here. I use yahoo messenger and my screenname is "samanthadtv" I have found that talking to someone often makes me forget that i'm alone. Our stories sound incredibly similar. I'd enjoy chatting with you. My computer is always connected 24/7.
I know the moderators recommend not giving out personal information on this site but as long theres a chance that I can help someone, I'm not worried about a little junk email lol.
Well, hope to hear from you!
Samantha
Ben,
That's awesome really. What a great way to contribute too. I'm sure they love the flowers. I spent years working in hospitals and long term care facilities and they really appreciate the little joys they get.
I used to do a lot of flower gardening because I so love to be outside soaking up the smell of the grass and the warmth of the sun. It's great therapy isn't it? When I am able I'll get back into it again.
We moved last year and my family and friends are about half the country away right now and my husband drives over the road and is gone all week so it's hard to feel so isolated. I was doing pretty well when we moved though and hadn't thought of course about being back like this again. The last time I got bad, I had people close to help me through it so I wasn't so afraid of being alone.
I don't know if this would be an option in your situation but I have a vegetable and flower garden to help pass the time when I'm alone and more likely to feel anxious. I too have a neck injury so I get friends and family to help me with any of the heavy lifting that is needed. The reason this is great for me is because I feel like I'm doing something useful with my time - I grow great health vegies which saves me money and what we don't use I donate to the local foodbank. Most of the flowers I grow I give to a local rest home to give to patients who don't have many visits from their family. It's a really good feeling because even though I don't always have the ability to be out and about in my community I can still play my part in making someone elses life better . . . as well as my own!
Melisnl,
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I had three episodes of heavy anxiety but evaded the full blown panic today which is IMO a huge victory for me!
I even today, found a student who is working under a licensed therapist who agreed to see me!! She was my last hope because I am in a rural area and the resources are limited unless you have a good bank account or good insurance. Of course I'm scared because I'll have to force myself to get in the car and drive (eww) there but if I blow it I may blow my only chance at therapy so I have to be strong and just get there.
I'm trying to keep the "I think I can frame" of mind.
Oh and BTW I do love Sylvia and I have been wanting to get another of her books, I've only read one so far. Sounds like a great idea! Thanks
Three more days this week to get through. Maybe it'll get easier.
First of all i want you to know that you are strong and you are gonna get through this. We are all here to make sure of that. What helped me when i was housebound, was to read books by Sylvia Browne. Watch a movie or pet your pets if you have them. If you don't have a pet i would recommend a cat. My cat helps relieve so much anxiety from me. Good luck and hang in there.
I've started the panic program. I have to be careful with that too especially if I am home alone because it get's me to thinking about all of it.
I don't really have any hobbies no. I was mostly an outdoorsy person with the exception of my computer. I do have an on-line friend who I chat with if she's on and it helps a lot to pass the time and talk through the panic when it happens. She doesn't know just how much of a life-line she is sometimes.
Even the computer which has become the window to my world has been difficult to use at times because of discomfort.
As I feel I am able, I am trying to get back into a few of the things I used to do to occupy my time. I have started a diary so I can now look back and know how I felt on such and such a day. I think it may help me.
Ok I am going to try to find something to occupy the brain so it has less time to wander to things I'd rather it avoid.
Thank you for taking the time to respond! I appreciate it.
