I am just venting. Anyone who wants to share or help is free to do so. :)
I had, for the most part, being doing very well for the last 2 weeks or so.
I have taken up yoga, scaled down my hard workouts and even was lowering the amount of valium I was taking to a 1/2 maybe once or twice a day. I want to use it on an as needed basis only and not every day.
I just recently met a nice girl and we have talked for like 2 months and have met twice.
I had a rough few hours on Sunday night, but before that, on Thursday, my boss aggrivated the heck out of me with some news that I did not have Friday off like I felt I did, which by the way was my date night.
That threw me off, but it ended up being her error and I was able to have off. But none the less, I was still thrown off my game, lost my composure and have been a bit off since I had a moment of depersonalization that night.
I went to see The Aviator with my date on friday and the movie disturbed me a little because of the content with Howard Hughes having bad OCD. It was a little too familiar to me. But it was a great date and this relationship has possibilities.
So I was sort of fine while I was off the last two days, but then it came time for the girl I have met to go on vacation. She's away until Sunday. Almost the instant we hung up the phone with her last night I felt so alone and then began to dissociate or have feelings of anxiety and/ or panic.
I even tried to go to sleep early because all my days chores were done and I was in for the night. Did not happen. I ended up not sleeping well at all. I fell asleep around 1 and then woke up around 2, then fell back to sleep and have been up since 5 minutes to 6.
I worked my second job this morning and had some anxiety. But nothing out of control.
I realize that my not sleeping well is playing a big role here, but I really wish I could stop these setbacks.
I take yoga tonight and I know that'll help. I have been there and some anxiety tried to seep in but I have been able to push it away.
OK, I am done venting. Thanks to all those who listened, but I really can't talk about this to anyone where I am.
This sort of goes along with my itchy or numb hand problem. I still have no idea if they are related. I went to the chiropractor tod