I feel this way often, sometimes if its a bad day, and the phone rings I jump (it scares me, because after I hang up I thnk about how stupid I must have appeared to whomever I was talking to. And if Im not quiet on the other end, then I am speaking in a way where Im stepping over myself). Its not just friends (which Ive seem to have eliminated a lot of those from my life) its family too. I am beginning to hate the telephone!!
Most of the times it depends on the day itself, with how much I can do. But I completely understand that akward silence... and the uncomfortable factor that I feel with it. I feel I've pushed a lot of people away because of this, too many and some that were very close and that are very dear to my heart. And I keep thinking that if I just get "normal" again, that I can have them back in my life. But sometimes, when I look at the whole picture, I doubt that its ever going to happen as much as I want it to.
