I agree absolutely with what Brenda and Ashley have said - you absolutely have to work on finding some new ways to reward yourself and here's the science that might make sense of that for you:
Cigarettes used to artificially boost your dopamine levels (not just the nicotine, there are a couple of other 'goodies' in there which also boost dopamine and are also highly addictive)
Dopamine is your 'feel good/reward' neurotransmitter. So it became very easy to think of cigarettes as a reward, in fact just by treating them as a reward would further boost the dopamine levels in your brain. Add to that the fact that a cigarette takes a 10-15 minute time to smoke...very convenient for a quick break!
So, if you find some new small rewards and break activities, you can start to boost those dopamine levels back up again.
I've mentioned it before, but I really enjoy a Chai tea. I also discovered and loved Rooibos and Vanilla tea (caffeine free) and if you can find the version by Dragoncloud teas (Dragonfly teas in the UK) it is like drinking hot ice cream! Another good drink that I discovered the other night (when I was the designated driver) was hot spiced apple juice, which tasted like a cross between spiced apple pie and mulled wine. If you added mulled wine spice to hot apple juice and threw in a couple of extra cloves, you would have it.
You have mentioned buying magazines - give yourself permission to read one article every hour while you are working.
My one week reward was a really nice steak, I bought two and took them to my mum's for her to cook for us both (it was the night of the week that I always have supper with her) My 100 day reward was a rose that I planted in the garden, it didn't cost much, but it reminds me how well I've done.
What's done is done, so please try not to beat yourself up about your smoking past, just praise yourself for what you are doing now - smoking is more addictive than crack cocaine!
The Allen Carr books are good, I didn't read one until well after I had quit, but a lot of his wisdom has often been repeated here. Go for the basic 'Easy Way'' book, it will turn around the way you view cigarettes and teach you that the only thing that you really enjoyed was getting rid of the craving for another 20 minutes.
I'm not sure exactly when you will feel like a non-smoker, it's gradual process. One day you will wake up and realise that you really haven't thought about cigarettes for ages. I never think about cigarettes or smoking now, unless I have come back here for a while - and then it is only thinking of them in an abstract way. I can remember that when I got to seven weeks, I started to feel comfortable with my quit - but everyone varies. The harder you work at it, the easier it is: read, post, learn, get creative with rewards and breaks and soon you'll be looking back from a year or more, with today's anger and pain a distant memory.
My Milage:My Quit Date: 12/16/2004
Smoke-Free Days: 1825
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 58,400
Amount Saved: �11,680.00
Life Gained:Days: 257
Hrs: 9
Mins: 15
Seconds: 8
