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for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

Ya!!!! I have to agree people are not mind readers and you have to Speak UP and sometimes other things if you want them to understand you. They me not like what you have to say and they may not like the new you but if the don't they weren't worth fretting over or worrying about anyway.

Rose

Brenda when your Birthday anyway!!!!

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/30/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 19
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 760
Amount Saved: $228.00
Life Gained:
Days: 2 Hrs: 17 Mins: 40 Seconds: 47

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1904

Bravo! I have found that I rarely get what I don't ask for. I have already started priming people for my 50th birthday party.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 413
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 11,564
Amount Saved: $4,914.70
Life Gained:
Days: 46 Hrs: 12 Mins: 34 Seconds: 32

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 984

"People are not mind readers..."

Oh my word, what a statement that is and how very important it is for us to remember it. I remember years of thinking 'why don't they UNDERSTAND me?!? What do I have to do to make them GET IT?!?'

Erm...speak up?

This, among all other things, is one of the most important 'things that other people understand' topics. I'm so glad you are all on the same page with me.

x T

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1264
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 29,072
Amount Saved: �7,994.80
Life Gained:
Days: 112 Hrs: 19 Mins: 28 Seconds: 34

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1209

Thank you Todash, Roses, & Nonic. Coming out from the blue haze, or not hiding or running for it.. Is quite an eye opening experience. Some times we do not have a huge choice if a toxic person is part of our family.. we however can have control of the situation or at least (turn a deaf ear). Speaking up and adding our own opinions... is not going to make the world crash.... and often leads to more understanding and a better relationship.

People are not mind readers.. and often do not what we have been thinking since in the past we ran and hid behind the blue cloud.

Bonnie

D 38

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/7/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 39
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 663
Amount Saved: $132.60
Life Gained:
Days: 5 Hrs: 3 Mins: 10 Seconds: 12

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 984

Ah Roses, you are soooooo not alone. There are many of us here - the longer you stick around the more you'll run into! I think the best part of this grand adventure is the realization that we are good enough, we are strong enough and we deserve to be happy no matter what it takes. Whatever caused us to feel otherwise is much deeper than cigarettes but it's only when we stop smoking that we are able to see it for what it is. What a real eye opener. Bliss!

Continued good mojo to you.

x T

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1260
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,980
Amount Saved: �7,969.50
Life Gained:
Days: 112 Hrs: 10 Mins: 44 Seconds: 8

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

Good morning Tobash

Choose our battles more wisely and walk away from the toxicity. Some people are not worth expending the energy on. When you said this I felt my heart strings give a tug. Someone understands. I feel so very lucky to have you on this journey with me. Thank you !

Rose

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/30/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 15
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 600
Amount Saved: $180.00
Life Gained:
Days: 2 Hrs: 3 Mins: 1 Seconds: 35

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 984

Hi Rose

Timing as they say is everything and I'm currently grateful for two bouts of timing: one that you found this before you quit and it's helped you in some way. I'm so glad for that because this has been one of the looming issues in my own quit. The second is that your comment came when it did, as I've had another instance with someone I never realised was toxic until I considered them in this context. The phrase 'choose your battles' has become ever so important to me and you'll find to you as well if you continue thinking in this vein. Sometimes it's just not worth expending the energy to disagree with someone who will never see your side of the coin. We are all born different and for some of us this means totally different in thought, in speech, in spirituality, in all belief. To try and gel with some people is often impossible and as smokers when we failed we took the blame on ourselves.

This recent TP of mine used to try and turn things around with a personal attack then come out with 'don't take it so personally'. This is a persistent ploy for people who know they can get a rise out of us to go and get that rise. Nic lets us cave because all we want to do is end the altercation, run and smoke the anger away. It festers. It never leaves us until we choose to lessen the burn. Until we choose to take back the power, choose our battles more wisely and walk away from that toxicity. Thanks for your excellent timing because you helped me remind myself of my own lesson.

Nonic, I remain in great hope that you continue kicking your jailer's ash. It's always a fantastic pleasure to see you. If ever you do come up with the invisibility potion, please do get in touch.

Your comment 'all I am is what I think and feel' strikes a chord and is why I think that you and I are in tune. Keep on pushing those toxic folks away. It seems such a simple thing but is so very difficult - maybe it's because we are kind hearted, or are we ex smokers soft? Are we weak? Why do we lie down, wave the white flag and dress ourselves in the yellow brick road? Let the wizard walk all over us and win the game?

It does get old. We spent years letting ourselves get beaten, and I cannot tell you how glad I am to have realised it's not to late to fight back.

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail, yes I would, if I only could I surely would.

Much love to both

x T

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1259
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,957
Amount Saved: �7,963.18
Life Gained:
Days: 112 Hrs: 8 Mins: 34 Seconds: 52

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 880

Roses:

Keep walking forward on this...It really is a good thing that you are doing, but I know full well that it does not always feel that way...There are a great many good people here who will help you out along the way...It is a positive thing to right down all that you are going through, you will find that others are no doubt going through similar trials and that fact alone sometimes makes things easier...

nonic

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1266
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 37,980
Amount Saved: $13,293.00
Life Gained:
Days: 247 Hrs: 18 Mins: 19 Seconds: 31

Quit Meter

$69,016.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1424 Hours: 1

Minutes: 53 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6573

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

197,190

Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

nonic:

Thank you for the words or wisdom. I have the key and I am going to set myself Free now!!!

On my way to 30 days.....

Rose

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/30/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 14
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 560
Amount Saved: $168.00
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 22 Mins: 28 Seconds: 54

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 880

Roses:

Good for you, this cessation road is not a passive one. It is really a bit about becoming more aware of ourselves and the reasons we smoke. You have a hold of one of those right now. Chase it down with all your power and you may well find a bit of yourself that you forgot about.

Here is an old concept I go back to time and time again. I have posted this many times and I suspect I am boring many with it, but I will say it one more time because I think it might put some meat on the bone for you...Smoking is a sort of prison. As smokers we are both the jailer and the inmate. It is up to us to have the courage to ask ourselves for the key.

stay well

nonic

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1265
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 37,950
Amount Saved: $13,282.50
Life Gained:
Days: 247 Hrs: 16 Mins: 19 Seconds: 11

Quit Meter

$69,016.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1424 Hours: 1

Minutes: 53 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6573

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

197,190

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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