Hi Melissa, That is a good idea to see your ENT. You have lost much more weight than your should have and I can relate to that. May I ask what are you living on? Do you have problems swallowing both fluids and solids? I have problems swallowing both. I had recently gained 3 pounds and now in just 2 days I am back to square one. I just keep telling myself that it will pass sooner or later. I have never had it go on for this long. I am tall and should weight at least 120 as I have a small frame that should be enough but I am 90 pounds now. I will keep up the fight but what concerns me is I can loose weight quicker than anyone I know. I just can't get in enough fluids and nutrition. In your case you have been through such a drastic surgery and it would seem your body and mind need time to adjust to the changes. I know it must all cause a lot of stress and seem strange to you but hang in there and don't give up. If you want to ever send an email, you can reach me at Sounds4Heaven@Wmconnect.com Best Wishes and God bless. Vicky :)

Hello all I just found this site a few days ago and I can relate to everyone's worry about swallowing and choking. Before I read some of these postings I thought I was crazy but if I am I see I am not alone :). My story is quite different from the rest in that I just had major jaw surgery in May. It is called orthognathic surgery and I had my top jaw broken into three segments and pushed forward using titanium plates and screws. I had my lower jaw tilted to fit into my newly aligned top jaw so my bite would fit together correctly. After surgery I was rubbered band shut for three weeks and could only take in liquids through a syringe. The first few days I struggled with the idea of not being able to open my mouth or talk but eventually that subsided. All my problems began when I developed a sore throat that would not go away. The doctor said it was irritated because I was nasally intubated but the soreness last longer than I expected. When I was transitioning back into solid foods I found it hard to swallow and when I did swallow it really hurted. I stilled forged on thinking it would go away but it didn't. I had two episodes in which I thought food got hung up in my throat. The first episode I just drank a lot of water and prayed. The second episode scaried me so much I went to the emergency and after all the test I found out that was nothing there. Nothing there I said are you sure. Well that was the beginning of my anxiety which has now turned into a intense fear of swallowing and choking. Although I have never actually choked on food in my mind I feel the potential is there and it is strong enough to prevent me from eating. Thankfully I do have an appointement to see an ENT to rule out any physical problems related to the surgery but now I feel this is totally psychological. Before the surgery I would eat and not not think about it but now I see large chunks of food and think this is a choking hazard and it scares me to death. I think about every bite before I put it into my mouth and it just nerve wrecking. Right now I still trying to break myself out of this because I have went from a size 14 to a 10 and I am still losing weight. I was only expected to lose 14 pounds due to the surgery and I have lose 35 pounds. I feel a like prisoner. I hope that after m

Hello Biggs, I know how you feel. I am living on nutrition drinks and almost nothing, I have lost weight and a lot of it as a result. I have found that in most cases we are having these problmes during stressful events or times on our lives, which I think truly is the culprit altogether for this problem. Stess. If you could find ways to relax and know that this won't last forever, as you can see from the others it will evenually leave, in time. It seems that in some way you are overwhelmed with stress and have reacted to in by having these panic feelings. Most people don't know what in the world I am talking about when I describe my feelings and the feelings we all have here in this group. I have been accused of having anorexia and have been told, If you wiil just eat you wouldn't be weak. Well, they don't understand and never will unless it happened to them but I have found that the more you can get rid of the stress in your life, the better off you will be. It always helps me to take a very deep breath and HOLD it for a few seconds and then let it out like letting air out of a balloon, and also listening to soothing music and just imagine myself on holiday doing something I really want to do. I have found that I do better when I first wake up because I have relaxed after being asleep all night then after the day goes on the worse it becomes. If you could take a nap if only for about an hour, it would really help relax you and any time you feel panic and overwhelmed if you could take a short nap if only for a few moments, or just close your eyes and try to sleep if you can't actually sleep, that will help with the anxiety levels. I have found REST has helped me more than anything and taking those deep breaths, listening to soothing music. Try not to be discouraged and know that there is HOPE. My problem has been with me off and on for years, sometimes I go years and can eat or drink anything, but the past 5 years or so it has been the worst it's ever been but I have been under a great deal of stress. Elimiate any stress if you can. Best of wishes. Vicky

Biggs, You have come to the right place! Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find many supportive tests. These tests are not diagnostic tools and are not a replacement or substitute for a physicians advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. This may help better help assess the situation. We also have developed a Panic Program. This program is 12-weeks and involves the tools mentioned above. Each session is based on the previous session, so we strongly advise that you work slowly through the program and not jump ahead. Our online support group can help with many issues and support you through. many members have gone through what you have and are willing to share. If you have any questions or concerns with our "TOOLS" you can contact our support department at support@paniccenter.net. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Josie ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

Hey, I just found this website today, and I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me, or could help me. I'm 16 years old, and I'm from the UK. I've just finished my GCSE's (compulsive exams at 16). However,in June, I had done the majority of the exams and I was doing my Maths exam when I suddenly felt like I couldn't swallow and felt as if I were choking. This really scared me so I had to walk out of the exam as I couldn't face being back in there. When I got home, everything was fine. I had my dinner, and thought nothing more of it. Since then it has completely escalated. I've gone from having these panic attacks which involve the swallowing thing just in public or at exams, and being fine when I get home, to not being able to leave the house or eat anything solid in fear of having another one. I'm currently living on a cappucino in the morning, a build up drink and a banana a day. I really want this to stop because it's ruining my life, I feel so depressed all of the time, and I just want to eat so bad. I missed out on all of the celebrations for the end of the exams, because I couldn't face going out in public in fear of having the same feeling. Can anyone help? I don't want this to ruin my studies next year, I'm considering dropping out because I can't even catch the bus anymore. Thank you, Biggs

Junior, Thank you for your post. And its funny you mention that once you saw the size of the esophogus that helped you too. I also have said if a doctor or someone told me how big it is (your throat) so I know that the little pieces Im scared of eating wont actually choke me, then that would be a big help! Because I know its all in my mind. There isnt anything wrong with me physically because foods that I have no fear of, I wolf down! So if anyone can explain that to me (the size of the throat and about how big a piece of food has to be in order to choke) I would GREATLY APPRECIATE it. I do eat in front of the TV all the time and that helps a little not much. I still refuse to go anywhere near chips or things hard like that. But I need to start praying more and just taking it one day at a time. I get so overwhelmed at times thinking about what Im going to eat the next day when the present day is not over. I also get overwhelmed with big portions of food, cause as slow as I eat now its cold before I finish then I dont want it anymore because it takes me too long, and I get frustrated and just give up. Im trying to stay positive because I have so much to be thankful for in life and if this is the worse problem I have then I have no reason to complain. I will keep all of us in prayer that this will be resolved. I also keep this in mind FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. God Bless You All, Arika

Hello Sean, I am happy for you that you seemed to have found something that worked for you, getting invovled in something you like, taking your mind off the choking and was able to actaully eat. I know the feeling when your friends just eat it all down like it was just a little snack but to us it is a victory to just be able to eat like we want to. I also don't feel comfortable eating in front of people because of the way I eat and have been told that it didn't make any sense that if I am afraid of choking then WHY do I want to be alone? People have become almost upset with me for being that way but I can't help it. I know in my heart that it is something that we have to battle ourselves and that no one knows how it feels unless it happens to them. I truly believe that stress and anxiety play a MAJOR roll in this. I have noticed from all of the responses that everyone seems to have high anxiety. I do remember in the past that when I calmed down, it was able to eat again and I am praying for that day. Until then I will pray for everyone here in the group as this is a unique problem that most people wouldn't understand. I am glad I have found people out there who know how I feel. I thought I was going crazy and then I came upon this and said,"FINALLY, THERE IS THE ANSWER, THIS IS ME". Take care all and thanks again for all of your postings. Vicky :)

Hello, yes it has been hot recently in England (too hot)! I think Sean you're right, you need to stop thinking about it which can be hard but its the thinking about it that all the damage. I try and watch telly whilst eating and it does help! You do need food to survive and I cant imagine being like this for the rest of my life so I am sure I'll get over this in time. But it has been good reading every ones experiences and to know I am not going crazy so thank you to every one who has taken the time to write. :)

Akira, I'm still struggling with this myself. So I sympathize with you. Someone on this site once suggested distracting yourself when you eat (watch TV, read, go on this site, whatever). This might be helpful when you are alone. Like lifting weights, you should start out small and build your muscles up. In our case it is building our confidence up. During times when my choking phobia is bad I am completely freaked out by big meals. So I eat small. There is something pschogolgical to clearing one's plate. One time I ate 3 bowls of cereal from my son's toddler bowl. After the first bowl I was relieved, but still hungry so some minutes later I had another bowl, and so on. Eventually I realized I had a normal size bowl. Let your so called safe foods (those foods you feel you cannot choke on) build you up to bigger meals. A kids size bowl of cerael, pudding, apple sauce. If you build yourself up to eating a plate of i.e. mashed potatoes (tell yourself it's physically impossible to choke on mashed potatoes, unless there's hellacious lumps in it), then next time add a small portion of something else. What I also do when I am really anxious is after I eat a meal (even a small one) I write it down, then confront myself (self talk Example: "Junior, You ate 10 chips, one piece of chicken and you did not choke!!) Focus on chewing, not swallowing. Being able to tell yourself, " I chewed this piece of meat 30 times, so it's physically impossible to choke on it". Granted for me this only works on chicken and fish. Going to your doctor (GP), or a ear nose and throat doctor, or some other specialist is also a good idea to rule out any physical problem. Then once you get the news that it's anxiety you can add that to your armour of recovery by challenging yourself to say, "Wait I'm fine, there's no physical reason for this. Some years ago I once had a barrium X ray. The doctor took me step by step to show me why there was nothing stuck in my throat or nothing wrong with my swallowing process. Seeing the size of the esaphagus also helped to convince me that as obsessed as I was about chewing my food good or eating soft and tender foods and meats I was living a almost choke free lifestyle. I hope some of this helps. Lord, knows I still ne

I have lost weight but I needed to lose weight after having two babies back to back. But it also has to do with the fact that my doctor told me to follow the Sugar Buster's diet so I could start losing weight so its not all due to my fear of eating. I too want to eat alone and I hunch over my plate. The only person I feel comfortable around enough to eat is my husband. And I cant be with him 24/7 so its hard. I dont even let my parents know about this. I would love to eat a salad but Im terrified of the lettuce, Im scared of choking on it. I was going to see if I could get a shredder so its sliced thin so it would be easier. I also have bought a food chopper and a juicer so I can get proper nutrition. Now I think its to the point that it is really rediculous as it is controlling my life yet I dont know how to stop it. I to use to LOVE to eat and now I eat to live. I dont enjoy food at all and if I didnt have to eat anymore I wouldnt care. Its just a hassle now. And that makes me so upset. Especially since its summer and there are cookouts, I would love a hamburger or a hotdog. Im even scared of baked beans. I had just worked up the nerve to eat eggs again and now Ive stopped that. I just need some SERIOUS prayer. I also am scared that once Im over this and eat normally that I wont think about it and then possibly choke since I wont fear it. How crazy is that? I feel like Ive lost my mind. I also have a very unhealthy fear of dying, I think about that a lot. Ive gone to counseling but that didnt help much, maybe for a little while. Im so desperate Ive been thinking about contacting Dr. Phil!